It’s Lewis a.k.a. Nerd #2.
Last night I finished reading a book by the title of, “Convict Conditioning”.
This is book that lays out an argument and a system that proves you don’t need weights, fancy machines, a bowflex or any of the other stuff that the gym industry or the informercials brain wash you into believing you need to get incredibly strong.
It is written by Paul “Coach” Wade (book is sold by John DuCane – a long time high paying client of Dan Kennedy’s) and the premise of the book is based on what Paul learned about working out after having spent twenty-three years in some of the hardest prisons in America like San Quentin, Angola, and Marion which was the jail built to replace Alcatraz.
This was back in the early 80’s when prisons either had no weights or had a shitty selection. So if you wanted to get in shape so that you’d have the best possible shot at protecting yourself, you had to work with your body weight a.k.a. calisthenics.
What I believe this book does masterfully is walk any able bodied person – even the most out of shape beginner all the way to the pro – through an elegant progression to reach a point where they can perform mighty feats such as perfect form one-legged squats, one-armed pushups, and one-arm handstand pushups and even more… all with lowest possibility of injury.
So you can see that Paul brings a unique renegade perspective to the table and on the very last page of the book is where I came across this one …
This opinion may not be very popular or New Age, but I certainly prefer training over spending time with people. Any day. My exercises have done more for me than any of my “friends.” In my life, I’ve met hundreds – thousands- of people who wanted to attack me, steal from me, bully me, humiliate me, or even kill me. But my training has given me nothing but benefits. It gives far more than it takes. I’ve wasted great chunks of my time on human beings who I now wish I’d never even met. But training? I don’t regret a single second of the time I spent working out.
Every moment of effort, every drop of sweat was worthwhile.
How’s that for a polarizing position to take on life?
Of course there will be people who read this and say this guy is full of shit. And of course there will be some people who say he’s right on the money.
Me? I’m 5o% bought in.
I believe there’s something inherently useful to take be taken from this and that there’s something potentially harmful to be drawn out of it.
Remember, there is no right or wrong – there are only perspectives and at best, we only have partial perspective which is deeply connected to the biases we’re wired with that are based on what we’ve been programmed by others to believe is true and false.
Now think of the references that are dominant in this guys mind and you’ll see why this is true for him – “In my life, I’ve met hundreds – thousands – of people who wanted to attack me, steal from me, bully me, humiliate me, or even kill me.”
If you’d spent decades in some of the roughest and toughest prisons – societies garbage dump for humans – you’d probably feel the same way.
Not All The People You Interact With Are Created Equal
In Dan Kennedy’s Renegade Millionaire course he talks about how he feels the term “Friend” is thrown around too lightly these days.
He reveals that from his perspective, when you call someone a friend you’re taking on a huge responsibility – the responsibility to go bail them out of jail in Mexico if they’ve been wrongly accused of something, the responsibility to be by their bedside in the hospital daily to support them if they’re going through a life threatening condition, the willingness to raise their kids as your own should this condition take them away from their kids at a time when the children most needs a parent and be ready to be of service in any other number of shitty situations the universe can serve up.
Friendship in the eyes of Kennedy is an obligation so it should not be treated lightly. It’s a til death do you part, through thick and thin binding gentleman’s agreement. I am more than 50% on board with this perspective.
But most people you encounter in the world aren’t good friends to others. Their flaws are so numerous, so heinous, so toxic that they have no friends. They aren’t even friends to themselves.
And then you have the people who the book, “The 48 Laws Of Power” prepares you to encounter in the world. The people who flatter the hell out of you until you prove useless to them in their agenda to be approved of and have more control of others.
“You assess the number of “friends” you have not when you are on top of the world, but when the world is on top of you.”
I don’t give a fuck how righteous a person you claim to be and how many good deeds you’ve done for people when the sun was shining upon them and they could potentially be of service to you in the future.
What I want to know is how honorable were you toward a person who you called a friend when the IRS came in and accused them of not paying taxes and froze all their bank accounts (only to later admit they were wrong and pay back all the money) and all you had was their word that they were innocent?
Did you come to the rescue or come up with excuses about why you couldn’t help?
I believe that for the few people in the world you are “Friends” with and not expect it back from the other person. If when the call of duty comes and they step up, that’s cool. If they don’t, that’s also cool.
You do what you feel is right for you, not for them. Otherwise you’re just being honorable to put something in the morality bank with the hopes you can withdraw it from them sometime in the future. You’re trading – future banking – not giving.
To me, that’s not cool to do to yourself.
I don’t give a fuck about the other person primarily. I care about what that does to me to harbor ill will toward someone because they didn’t do what I hoped they would, or to see myself as a maneuvering weasel.
I don’t want to owe anyone anything and I don’t want people feeling like they owe me something. I just want to be proud of myself for doing what I believed to be the right thing to do in spite of being scared shitless to do so. That’s all the payment I need.
This is a win-win position. I get to feel good whether that person returns the favor or not.
And all of this is just words until the next time I get to step up and prove myself again.
Divorce Is A Possibility
Now don’t get me wrong.
If I find out someone I call my friend is murdering women and children, hacking their bodies up, and putting them in a freezer so that he can eat them later and he gets arrested and found guilty based on an overwhelming amount of evidence gathered has witnesses to his crimes, along with his confession, I’m going to be on top of him with the rest of the world.
There are just some things that are not excusable that people shouldn’t be coddled for.
This reminds of something the wonder woman Marva Collins said while Tony Robbins was interviewing her. She was talking about teaching her own children to be accountable for their actions. At a very young age one of the things she hammered into their conscious was that if they ever went to jail for something they couldn’t control, to call her and she’d be there in a flash. But if they ever did go to jail for something they could control like robbing, raping, or killing, etc., to call and let her know where they were and she’d send them a plate of cookies.
I’ve had family members and friends go to jail and prison before for things they could control. I didn’t coddle them. But other people in my family did and I don’t believe it served them.
In fact, it seems to me that this could easily lead to a person acting all uppity like YOU’RE the shit bag for not putting money on their books, writing them, or buying them shoes, CD’s, magazines and shit.
I don’t want anyone to baby me if I ever get locked up for doing some stupid shit I could control.
Let me do my time and ruminate about the wrong I’ve done and sleep in the bed I’ve made. I believe this can contribute to my coming away from this experience a better person.
Why Trusting No One Can Hurt You
What I believe could be potentially harmful within Paul Wade’s statement about loving his training more than people if taken as gospel is the implication that everyone is out to get you and that if you let people in, they will always let you down because they’re only looking out for themselves and at the first opportunity they get, they’ll screw you.
I don’t believe this. I believe most people are inherently good but that the majority of them don’t behave bravely when they’re backed into a corner. And then you’ve got the small percentage of psychos and permanent and full time assholes.
There’s a saying I’m fond of that I remember the late Chet Holmes saying which was, “You want to hire slow and fire fast.”
The same could be said for friendships/people you spend significant amounts of time with . . . befriend slow and un-friend fast.
Hell, you could even set up tests like one guy who won the lottery did. The story goes a man won the lottery and before he turned in the ticket and his face was plastered all over the newspaper and television, he called up a list of family members and friends and told them that he needed to borrow a thousand bucks tonight and that they couldn’t ask him what it was for. He later said this little test dramatically lowered the number of shit weasels coming at him wanting to be his best bud after everyone knew he’d hit it big.
This is a little extreme but highly effective. And it goes without saying that this is only valid if you’re not a drug addict or degenerate gambler because in some instances, not giving you the money proves the person was actually being a good friend.
Lessons To Be Learned . . .
You need to divorce yourself from or dramatically lower your exposure to people who don’t inspire or empower you.
Choose who you spend time with, pledge your allegiance wisely and be completely neutral in believing someone is your “friend” until they’ve been tested.
And vice versa.
Don’t take friendship lightly. Don’t drunkenly or even soberly pledge your dying loyalty to someone. Just BE that loyal person when the opportunity shows up and life has its boot on that chosen person’s neck.
And . . . keep in mind that when it comes to intelligently training your body with exercise, that this is a friend that will always serve you just as good books/audios/videos will.
Lewis LaLanne a.k.a. Note Taking Nerd #2 a.k.a. L.L. Cool Nerd
PS. If you have gotten your hands on the notes the Chief Nerd took on Dan Kennedy’s Renegade Millionaire course, what the hell are you waiting for? There’s a gold mine of awesome entrepreneurial guidelines insights to be had. Click here to put hands on these notes <—–