eye-contactHey guys and gals,

Note Taking Nerd Numba 2 is back to hand you the 5th and final step to being seen as a person who deserves respect until you’ve proven otherwise.

Before we dive in I want to recap.

The first step we talked about was Wrapping The Package.

If you look like a million bucks, you’ll feel like a million bucks.  Wrong or right, people judge us based on what we cover our body with.  So, why not have it be an amazing first impact you make on someones mind.

The second step was to smile more in public.

Especially when approaching people and when talking over the phone.  No one looks forward to engaging in conversation with a person with a scowl on their face or talking to someone on the phone who sounds like they just woke up.

Especially if they’re in a happy state of mind  because negative energy kills a positive vibe in person or on the phone.

The Third Step was to take up more space wherever you are.

When you’re tense and feel real nervous in public shrug your shoulders up and then let them drop back.

Your arms should be hanging loose.  Not only will this make it easier to breathe deep relaxing breaths but it will also pull your head up instead of sagging to the floor.

After taken these steps ask yourself these three questions…

Am I breathing to my belly?

Am I relaxed?

Am I doing what I’m doing gracefully?

When we stand tall and don’t make herky jerky movements we can be seen as the cool confident person we really are.

The Fourth Step is to walk slower.

If you asked yourself the three questions above while on the move you’ll be walking like a king or queen.

No more Elmore Fudd plundering about or little mousey “Hope no one notices me” skittering.

Walk like you own the joint and everyone should feel lucky for having the chance to have spotted you in public.

Or be ignored.  It’s up to you.

Our Fifth and Final step to cultivating a magnetic first impression is Tractor beam Eye contact.

jim-carrey-dd-limoIf you’ve ever seen the movie “Dumb and Dumber” you’ll remember the scene when Jim Carrey’s is telling Jeff Lloyd about his first encounter with the red headed woman of his dreams.

He says “Yeah, Harry, she even talked to me.  We had a connection.  It was like a tractor beam whrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!”

As stupid as Carrey’s character was in this movie he nailed what magnetic eye contact does in an interaction between two confident people.

It pulls you together like a tractor beam.

How attractive is it when a member of the opposite can spark white hot sexual tension by softly holding your gaze for a longer than is normal?

But too much eye contact can have the opposite effect.

Too much eye contact can be awkward or communicate you’re trying to punk someone.

What do you say with your peepers?

For a long time I unconsciously was very nervous about eye contact.

When I finally made the decision to get this handled I started consciously paying attention to what I was doing with my eyes and how I felt about it.

I remember one of our loyal fans, Tim mentioned a Richard Bandler program where he spoke about manipulating the feelings that come up in your body when you’re anxious.

And Tim, I have that program along with a bunch of other Bandler stuff and I don’t think anyone can go wrong with his material.

What worked better for me though was Larry Crane’s spin of the Sedona Method where instead of holding those feelings you open up an imaginary door where they’re churning and let them go.

Release the tension instead of holding it.

One of the exercises he has you go through is to look yourself in the eyes in the mirror and release whatever feelings come up.

When I first did this my first reaction was to look away within seconds of doing it.  Why?

It’s just me.  I was scared of looking myself in the eye.

Until I sought out resources to help me battle this, I suffered through the embarrassment of never coming across to potential business partners…friends and lovers as who I really was at my core.

How did I fix this?

Here’s three solid suggestions my dad or mom never taught me that would’ve helped me avoid presenting myself as a chump.

One of the first steps you can take is to get comfortable looking yourself in the eye.

I practice this daily by holding eye contact with myself while flossing and brushing my teeth.

I used to floss and brush in the shower and really regretted giving that up but it was for the greater good.

This started out being tough but got easier and easier as I kept doing and releasing whatever tension started rolling inside.

The second suggestion I got was from Eben Pagan in his dating stuff.  He knows eye contact is huge problem for guys who are afraid to approach women.

So, he has guys go through the exercise of going to the mall or store and holding eye contact with women until they look away.

Any women young or old.

Now this doesn’t mean turning on the Manson Lamps and leering.

Just softly hold eye contact and you’ll start rooting out confident women and not so confident women.

Doing this was an amazing confidence booster for me.

The last suggestion is the 5 second triangle rule.

If you look into someones eyes too long it gets weird right?

So practice going from one eye to the other for 5 seconds and break by looking down at their mouth.

You can also look to the side if you want to break eye contact so you avoid looking at the ground and seeming nervous.

That’s it.  I’ll see you tomorrow and please post any other suggestions for the community of things that have worked for you.

Wishing you speedy and spectacular success,

Notetaking Nerd Numba 2