Note Taking Nerd #2 back with your next installment of this saga.

April you’re too funny.  Push up Bra!  Ooooh Wee. (Read this goof ball’s comment in the Unfair Advantage post)    What about chicken cutlets?

I should’ve known one our most active female fans would gravitate to this “naughty story” theme.  And for all you beer bonging, head butting, 2 second shower taking manly men out there who want to learn how to write more persuasively I’ve got a suggestion that will definitely hone your chops and shrivel your sack.

Only a dude secure in his manliness will take on this John Carlton recommended step to enhancing your writing game.

You ready for it.

Score some Danielle Steele novels. This is where you get a peek into how women talk.  You’ll see how emotion and feelings are artfully transferred to print.  Those books aren’t showcased front and center at the book store because no one buys em.  There’s gold in them there pages if you have the balls to purchase and then read ’em.

I buy Cosmo and swim around in a 18-35 year old woman’s mindset there.  Plus, I get all the awesome bullet writing examples not only from the cover but also from the table of contents.  My favorite one from this month’s issue is…





(Cosmo Coaches You!)

A close second is…

Everyday Things That Can Wreck Your Fertility

What women don’t want the answer these two bullets promise?  Hell, I want to know em.

If you swipe the bullets from scorching hot magazine covers, don’t just copy the phrase.  Look at how they broke the sentences apart.  In the first one the font was larger.  They could have shrunk it and made it all into one sentence but they choose to bold, capitalize and then blow it up.  Why?

I don’t care.  These mad scientists have done the hard work for me of testing these layouts for decades now and they know what gets people to snatch these babies off the checkstands and take ’em home with them.

If your target audience isn’t grizzly bikers (not doctors in leather riding Harleys), mixed martial arts brawlers or construction workers… there’s a pretty good chance you’ll be depending on women to give you money.

So why would you make them feel left out?   Tom Peters wrote some years ago about a study that showed women were behind some 70 or 80% of purchases that are made.

Men inherently know this some are afraid of admitting it.  Even when a guy isn’t married and handed the checkbook over to the wife, most of his decisions are influenced by women.

Men want cars women will think are hot.  Men want clothes women will think are hot.  Men want a pad women will think is hot.

Ignoring this reality will doom you to less than optimal performance.

The marketers wet dream for maximum response would be knowing exactly who the prospect is who’s looking at your letter now.

Eben Pagan knows this and he created his Psychic Salesletter Software which gives the reader a little survey to fill out and depending on what they filled in they get a certain letter that talks to their problem but I don’t remember if it divided by sex.

But, I haven’t seen that script popping up on any sales letters I’ve visited lately.  Not even the Wake Up Productive one.

And I haven’t tested the software on any of my sites so I can’t give you a real world endorsement for it working or not.

If you have a list of buyers where you definitely can segment the list and are not at least testing one version written specifically to men and one just for women I say you’re being lazy.

Some guys, out of wanting to defend their lack of effort might say “Core emotions are core emotions.  My sales are fine without having two separate letters.”

I’d bet you the fattest lobster in Maine that if diced up your list, pulled out the women, and sent a promotion to them I crafted in “women speak that my letter will trounce your testosterone slathered copy any day of the week.

And you women writers are guilty of this too.

I’m beating up on guys right now but you chick-a-dee’s need to do the opposite if you are trying to get guys to lift their right butt cheek, pull out their wallet and hand you moola.

Find yourself some of the stuff Homer Simpson would dig by checking out this…  Ian Fleming’s James Bond books, Maxim magazine and if you really want to get your hands dirty help yourself to a hefty serving of some that fake wrestling bullshit.

Just like romance novels, men strutting around in speedo’s and boots don’t haul in millions and millions of dollars every year because a few backwoods hillbillies are watching this on T.V.  These organizations are filling up professional sporting event arenas.  This means there has to be tons of closet wrestling fans out there keeping this stupidity alive.

Wrestling is the equivalent of your soap operas.  A big macho man play world.  That’s all it is.

Watching this is similar to hanging out in a men’s locker room.  You’ll be drenched in the core caveman mentality driving most “gentlemen’s” behavior.

I dare you guys and gals to take the leap into either of these worlds.  I guarantee you’ll come out the other side a better marketer for it.

Damn, I went off on a rant and didn’t get to continue the post like I planned.  Oh, well.  I trust you’ll be happy with this and there’s always tomorrow.

Watch out for the Marketing Wisdom Discovered In Naughty Story Part 2.

Wishing You Speedy And Spectacular Success,

Note Taking Nerd #2