These two words make it so you don't have to use force to what you want like Patrick Swayze & his gang did in "Point Break"

These two words make it so you don't have to use force to get what you want like Patrick Swayze & his gang did in "Point Break"

Hey you, It’s #2.

Today I’m going to share with you the most powerful way to influence your prospects & customers.

Last night I spent a few hours on a detailed note taking session to put this together for you.  The program I dove into was Tony Robbins’ “Creating Lasting Change” product which, by the way, is my favorite out of any of his others.

Now, you and I are gonna look directly over the shoulder and listen to a story in the voice of someone who’s internationally respected for his ability to influence.

Here we go…

If you’re gonna create a change in anyone, i.e. exchange little blips of numbers from their  bank account to yours or take action on what you ask them to do… you gotta remember they only want to change one of two things…

…How they feel… or what they’re doing, which is their behavior.

Those are only two things people want to change.

Everything comes down to state, “What’s the state of mind they go into in a certain environment?”

What’s the state they’re in right now?

The two basic ways of changing state are changing someone’s physiology or… their focus, the way they’re representing things.

If someone’s got a bad association to “authority figures” you’ve gotta change their feeling toward that or what “Authority Figures” mean to them.  That’s all it takes.

Changing the meaning for people is a primary skill you’re already using in life.

There 3 ways to do it…

1.  Pre-Framing

2.  Re-Framing

3.  De-Framing

Today you & I are only going to talk about Pre-Framing.

The purpose of changing the Frame of Reference that someone’s using is to change what something means to them.

Here’s What a Pre-Frame is…

When you tell someone in advance what to pay attention to and what it’s gonna mean when they notice it (when they see, feel or hear it).

Pre-Framing is the most powerful way to influence the way people think that Tony knows of.

Most people spend most of their time, on how to structure their request, how to ask for things, not on the way they set things up in advance of the request.

If you’re gonna help someone change, before you actually do the change work, is where you’re going to influence them most.

How Can You Pre-Frame People

So That They Have Tremendous Expectancy For Change?

Do Doctors do this even if they don’t know they are?


We’ve all heard of a placebos.  You know, where you give someone colored water and make them believe it’s a medicine and their body heals.

What’s even more exciting is when you give somebody a REAL MEDICINE and you tell them it’s a DIFFERENT MEDICINE and their body responds… as if it were a different medicine.

There’s been a tremendous amount of research studies done where they take people and they give them amphetamines, medical students, but they gave it to them in the form of a capsule that looked like a downer, a barbiturate.

Amphetamines are a chemical that must speed up your metabolism.

They give it to the doctors & say, “Now, these are some of the best downers (Barbituates) that we’ve ever created.  These will relax your patients in a heartbeat.  They’ll just drop them right to the floor.”

In every case during the study, every single person’s, pulse dropped, body dropped, they responded exactly as if they were barbiturates when they were given amphetamines by a doctor who believed they were barbiturates. So guess what they did?

They did the opposite.

With a different group of doctors they said “Look, this stuff will hype your patients up.  If they’re out of it, you give them this and they’re gonna have the energy they need” and they gave them barbiturates.

And in each case, even though the body has been drugged to slow down, the person’s physiology sped up.

It’s Not Just That Our Beliefs Affect the Drug…

Our Beliefs ARE the Drug.

So what you & I have to know is that to influence a potential client or customer it’s not so much about what we do during our actual presentation.

The Pre-Frame you do before will probably mean more to that person than even the interaction  you have with them.

It creates an expectancy in people.

So whenever you’re looking to get a customer or prospect to do something think in terms of Pre-Framing.

The Best Way to Pre-Frame…

Pre-Frame things so that when you communicate something, say if you take someone who’s skeptical, you immediately say what they’re thinking.

Say, “You know what, I don’t know if this really makes any sense for you, it’s very basic.   But you know, what the heck, why don’t we try it.”

You do that with someone who skeptical, and you can bet your ass it’ll build rapport with them.


If you know someone who wants to change and they’re not skeptical, you’d say something like… “You know what.  What I’m going to do with you right now is the most powerful pattern I’ve ever developed.  There’s not one person who hasn’t changed.  You’re gonna love this.  This is gonna change your destiny.”

They’re ready for the drug.

This will affect everything about the way they perceive you.  If you don’t tell people what to notice, there’s unlimited things for them to.  Some of them probably don’t work in your favor.

You want to teach your clients what things are gonna mean in advance, “And when that happens here’s what that’s gonna mean.”

Create the meaning you want them to.  This is your job, to direct the meaning for them.

Otherwise they go all over the place.

Can people take an experience that’s very positive and interpret it in a way that’s very negative?  Absolutely.

Marley & Me: Saddest/Happiest Dog Movie Of The Year

Marley & Me: Saddest/Happiest Dog Movie Of The Year

Remember that movie, Me & Marley that starred Owen Wilson & Jennifer Aniston adapted from the best-selling book?

During my last trip back for Christmas to the frozen tundra that is Salt Lake City, Me, my brothers, my father,  step mother and I went to go see it.  I’m a total dog fan and so is everyone in my family.

There has never not been multiple dogs in my dads home for 25 + years now.  Inside the house. None of this leave the dogs outside, all day chained up bullshit.

WARNING:  If you’re as serious a dog lover as me, and you’ve got a macho man ego, don’t go see Marley & Me without being prepared for the battle to fight back some serious tears.

Jim Rohn talks about in one of his speeches, how he hates movies that don’t touch him.  He says, “Make me laugh, make me cry, just don’t leave me the same as when I walked in.”  I feel the same way.

Whoever produced Marley & Me pin-point precisely nailed the dog lovers tear jerking button.

My dad didn’t like this one bit.  He said, “I hate it when people try to jerk your emotions around like that.”

Yeah right.  Only when they’re emotions that affect his tough guy ego.  He loves laughing out loud, but get him in a theatre where he’s surrounded by other people and make him feel the opposite, and beware.

Two men.  Two entirely different ways to interpret the same exact situation.

Tony believes he can get anybody to do anything because he knows how to Pre-Frame it.  He frames it in a way that relates to their benefit.  And he asks rhetorical questions he knows they’ll answer.

When you’re one on one you can totally ask questions.  “Does that make sense to you?  Do you follow me?”  If I were to do something you may be wondering “Why are you doing this?” “Well, let me tell you why we’re gonna be doing this.” And then you’d tell them why, and then you’d do it.

The Story That Brings This All Home…

Years ago, Tony was brought in to work with the San Antonio Spurs.

For the non-sports fan or my people across the big pond, the San Antonio Spurs are a Professional Basketball team in the NBA.

They have not missed the playoffs in 19 of the last 20 seasons.  They now have 4 championship titles.  Before Tony showed up, they had none.

Now Tony walks in & knows they have a different frame of reference about him than he wants them to have.  So he’s gotta come in & break that pattern & establish the frame from the very first moment.

He’s supposed to be talking to just the players and management decides, “Hey, we got Tony Robbin’s, we may as well take advantage of it and bring in all the office employees in our organization.”

So, they move the meeting from the locker room to a bigger space.  Then, they figured they’d get it all on camera so they could use it in the future.

Now, you have a bunch of white people in the room while the team is all African-American and of course this makes some of these guys uncomfortable being outnumbered like this.

The team has just won a bunch of games in a row and they only have one day off.  And, Dennis Rodman’s in the group.  Right, so Rodman walks in, sees this little workbook that Tony’s put on the chairs, he takes his, rips it in half, throws it on the floor, slumps in his chair and puts on sunglasses so you can’t see his face.

Tony thinks, “Okay, I probably gotta do something.”

So when he got up there one of the first things he did was remembered part of their model of the world.  He’d done his homework so he found out that many of them we’re extremely religious, right,

He found out that they often do a prayer before a game even though everyone’s mindset wasn’t there. So, Tony gets up and he was supposed to get this great framing introduction from the head coach but at the last minute he bailed because he didn’t want to be seen as the guy who brought them to him on their one day off.

Tony’s Supposed to Have 3 hours and At the Last Second

He’s Told He’s Got 1 Hour.

The coach tells him, “You can keep them for 3 but the NBA only allows us to hold them for an hour.”

And then, with all the cameras on, they take and give Tony a Spurs jacket to wear just like the ones the guys on the team do as their warm up gear.  They want this to be all part of the video.

So one of the players is supposed to introduce him and he’s a really nice guy but he’s freaked out because he’s not used to speaking in front of a crowd.

Everyone’s sitting in their chair with their arms crossed.

To make it easier on the guy, Tony tells him to just share three specific things about him so he at least has some social proof.

Dude gets up, forgets everything and says, “Uh, the dude we’re bringing up today is…really sincere… and he’s a… good man.  Here’s Tony Robbins.”

He walks in and all the white people in the back of the room are clapping which makes all the black players not want to.

Tony didn’t want to wear the jacket but they insisted, so he walks up wearing his Spurs jacket like the ones they wear and he walks up to the front of the room of dead people in the very front. And in the back, all this happiness, bouncing around, happy white people.

Here’s Where The Magic Begins, Pay Very Close Attention…

He gets up introduces himself & says, “You’re probably wondering why you’re here.”

First thing he says.  Very first thing.  “You’re probably wondering why you’re here.  You just won 9 games in a row.  You haven’t had a day off, it’s your first day at home, you’re supposed to have the day off and now you’ve got some white guy standing in front of the room who’s never played basketball in his whole life trying to show you how you can play better when you just won 9 games in a row.  You’re probably wondering why you’re here.  You’re probably wondering why “What’re you doing wearing a Spurs jacket that you never earned.  Right?”

You could see the heads nodding up & down.  And you can even see Rodman looking up now.

Then he says “Those are good questions you should be asking at this point & I’m not here because I earned this jacket & we’re gonna talk about that in a second.  And I’d be real unhappy if someone took my one day off.”

Then he said, “I don’t have anything to do with that but I am here and I’m responsible to deliver for you and you only have to be here for an hour.  You’re gonna be here for three.”

He said, “You may say that’s bullshit and you have the choice to do that but you won’t and I’ll say why.  Because I’ll deliver results to you that you’ve never seen before, in three hours.  And I’ll deliver enough in the first hour that you’ll stay.  Because you’re gonna see that while I may not play basketball, I’ve worked with the finest athletes in the NBA, PGA, Olympians, Tennis, Hockey.”

“But more importantly, I don’t believe I have all the answers.  But I really do care and I really can deliver and there’s another reason why you gotta be able to listen to me.  Because you’ve never been able to make it past the first round of the playoffs.”

And everyone looks at each other.

He said, “I’m not suggesting that I can get you beyond it but I know that you can get yourself beyond it and I know there’s only a few things keeping you from breaking through so it’s not like you’re miles away.  There’s only a few little things, but if you don’t stop to look at them, you’re gonna be in trouble and what happens is that when we succed we tend party and when we lose we tend to ponder. And the worst thing that’s happening to you is that you’re succeeding, So, before we start, I wanna say two things.  First of all, I know that prayer is an important part of your team so I’d like to see if we can be guided in this session and I’d like to know if you, Avery (One of the players who was also a minister) would get up and do a prayer.”

He’d heard they do these resounding, blow the roof off the mutha, emotional type of  prayers.  So Avery gets up and eeks “Lord, please guide us to an effective day.”

Tony thinks to himself “Oh, my God.”

Has Tony Created a Frame By The Way?  Yeah, he created the frame that he doesn’t have all the answers and he’s got answers.

He created the frame that I don’t deserve to be here and that he does.

He framed several things.  But then he finally said, “Here’s the bottom line.  Now, I’ve heard your prayers are a lot more resounding than that Avery, so maybe you don’t think we have much of a prayer of achieving anything.”  And he got a little bit of a smile.

Then he said, “The second thing I want to do is this.”  And he rips off the jacket.  “Because I don’t deserve to be wearing this jacket.”

He went to the team captain and handed it to him and said, “at the end of this time if you feel I’ve added so much value that I deserve this jacket, then you can come bring it back to me.  And I’ll be happy to wear it with pride.  But I shouldn’t be wearing this thing until I earn it.  And at the end, if I haven’t earned that thing, you need to get in my face on top of it for taking your time.  That won’t happen.  Let’s begin.


Be sure to catch my next post to find out what happens.

Also, do you remember in the email I mentioned that you print this out.  Do it, because I’m going to show you how I modeled this exact pattern to introduce a wet-behind-the-ears, African American to the Good Ole’ Boys Billion Dollar Private Equity investment market.

If I can do it against all odds there, I’m positive you can do it in your market.

Who Gives You the Most Resistance When It Comes To Selling What You Offer?  Cold Prospects.

I’ll show you how you can take Tony’s presentation and use it to massively lower the  barriers people have when they first meet you.  This is priceless.

Stay tuned.

Talk to you soon,

Note Taking Nerd 2

P.S. If You Want To Learn How To Build Your Online Business From A to Z and Develop Deep Relationships With Your Customers Then Check This Out Now

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