Hey you,


10-12 post anouther

Get out of your head and learn to read what love means to “Anouther”


It’s #2.

Are you loving your clients and customers the way they want to be loved?

This is a very important question to address because as Gary Chapman, the author of “The 5 Love Languages: The secret to love that lasts”, explains, not everyone feels love from the same gestures that you do.

Now of course we aren’t trying to romance our prospects and customers into the bedroom (unless of course, you’re running  a brothel/escort service) but as you’ll see, these languages transition smoothly into maximizing your relationships with the your fans.

Here are the 5 Love Languages…

  1. Gifts That Communicate Love (not about cost)…
  2. Quality Time
  3. Acts of Service
  4. Words of Affirmation
  5. Touch in a Way That Communicates Love

Aren’t you relieved that these languages are so simple? Simple yet often ignored.

Now while Gary is teaching people how to get laid more, worshipped by their significant other and yelled at less in their relationships/marriages, we as business people can use these same 5 Love Languages to win the devotion of the people responsible for keeping the lights on, the car payments paid and the beer flowing like wine… our beloved customers/clients… the single most valuable asset we have in our businesses.

Why Mastering These Love Languages Is Important to Your Business

I think we can both agree that a client who loves you is always more fun to

work with, more appreciative of what you do for them and more profitable.

All three of these are a plus in a world where the majority of people attract or inspire behavior through their average/poor service, customer experiences they can’t stand.  Here’s what the infamous Bill Glazer of Glazer/Kennedy has to say about the topic of connecting with your list…

What you want to do is build a strong emotional bond. A bond so strong your clients almost feel like family.

In today’s fast-paced cold world, if you make a client feel special, most will stay with you and refer. Some will be more loyal than you could ever believe. But since you are busy in your business, or should be, I do not recommend spending a lot of extra time with clients to achieve this bond. The best way to create fertile ground with your clients is constant and consistent contact.

In fact, this IS the #1 most common element that my most successful Members possess. They constantly and consistently communicate with their clients by using various media such as direct mail, voice broadcast, live outbound call, email, loyalty program communications, etc.

This strategy of coming at your client in multiple different formats, on a regular basis, adopted and adhered to, taps into the 5 love languages.  But it almost seems to me like they’re achieving most of this outcome by accident through unconscious competence. Here’s the way to do it on purpose…

How You Can Easily Use The 5 Love Languages In The Bidniz World

First we must keep in mind this fun little factoid:

If You Crunch The Data, You’ll Find That Approximately 20% of Your List, Gives You Approximately 80% of Your Profits.

This means that a rather small portion of the people you do business with are the ones you want to bend over backwards to keep happy. They’re the people who spend the most, most often.

The reason I bring this up now is because one of these Love Languages, you might only be able to fully extended to this the very top tier of your list if you sell globally. And  you want to find ways to do that for these people, especially if they’ve pointed out to you that #5 – Touch in way that communicates love, is what motors their boat.

If you’ve got a platinum mastermind group, you’d be brain dead to not go to Amazon or to your local bookstore and pick up a copy of this book and put together an email that has Gary’s test inside of it and ask them to fill it out and get it back to you.

This way you’ll ABSOLUTELY be able to masterfully pluck their heart strings in a way that sings to their soul instead of lucking out every once in a while and hitting a note right.

EVERY ONE of your customer’s file should have this detail inside, but at the very least you want to know what the primary language of the top 20% of your list. And as you’ll see, it’s not gonna be brain surgery to deploy marketing activities/gestures that through variety, are sure to meet at least one of the 5 languages every so often in your cycle.

I’ll demonstrate this with an examples of brick and mortar locations and information marketing businesses selling a system and coaching to people who want to learn their secrets of success…

1. Gifts That Communicate Love…

For some people, if you don’t occasionally gift them with presents that they believe are tokens of your gratitude or a way to cherish them, they won’t feel like you care and you’ll always have a .

The good news here is that what Gary has found is that just because a gift is required, it doesn’t mean small, inexpensive gifts aren’t appreciated. Bill Glazer recommends separating your client list into three categories: A, B and C.

“A” clients are your most valuable clients. “B” is next in line and then “C.” think you should send all your clients unsolicited gifts from time to time… but… “A” clients should get special attention.

What’s also a plus is that it’s very possible for you to get these gifts for little to no cost by partnering with/sharing/endorsing another business to get. This idea made me think of how when the Chief went to Clayton Makepeace’s very first seminar, he was greeted with a ginormous bag of gifts.

IMG_20101011_184337 But 2 of the most memorable were 2 hard bound books. One was a copy of “Breakthrough Advertising” by Eugene Schwartz and the other was “Secrets of Successful Direct Mail” by Dick Benson.

This was right around the time when Boardroom started publishing them again. What made these gifts noteworthy was the fact that for the longest time you couldn’t just get them at the bookstore AND  that at one point they were out of print and copies were selling on Ebay for over $100.

Now I know that Clayton didn’t pay full price for books if he paid anything at all and I know that cost to Boardroom was not much. But it sure in the hell made an impression on the crowd.

One rule of thumb though with gifts, is that physical, something you can hold in your hands, has way more impact than something digital that you send across the interwebz.

And sending junk food like brownies or cupcakes from a local bakery, is a guaranteed success. Even if the person can’t eat junk food, they’re no more than a stones throw from someone who can and is more than willing to help out with their dilemma. 🙂

2. Quality Time

In personal relationships if you don’t spend 1 on 1 quality time with your lover, where you’re 100% present with them, they don’t feel like you love them. You can pretty much neglect the other 4 languages but if they’re not getting this from you, there’s gonna be nagging and distance like you wouldn’t believe.

Now of course, in business people won’t come out and bug you about this. They’ll just leave if someone else can fulfill this need for access for them.

In the bricks and mortar world think about how a person who is driven by this language would be the best candidate for 1 on 1 sessions with a personal trainer at a gym or massage parlor or a hair salon. A “Quality Time” driven person has to be their dream sale.

In somewhere like a restaurant or a clothing store, this quality time comes in the form of the 5-10-15 minute conversation you or your super star salesperson has with them one on one about their hobbies or the family or whatever lights them up.

It gives you the perfect opportunity to work through Harvey MacKay’s 66 questions that lets your clients become friendly with you and open up to you, more than almost anyone else they do business with.

Well, what if I sell info online?

I’m glad you asked.

The person that comes to mind when I think of how to make this work in the cyber world is the Kid Dynamite – Jason Fladlien. It seems to me that at least once a week he gets on the phone and is doing a webinar, where he’s GIFTING people top notch info WHILE spending time at the end of the call taking questions from buyers and prospects giving them a little taste of that intimate  one on one that lets them get a fix until his next call or… until they flip and buy personal consulting with them which allows them to REALLY meet their need for quality time.

This is one of the main reasons every info-marketer should offer coaching. There’s always a segment of your audience willing to pay and who wired to be unfulfilled unless they can have this kind of access to you.

3. Acts of Service

This is the whole, “Awwe you did all of THIS for ME!” factor. Washing someone’s car, cooking for them

Think of how Dan Kennedy does this with his top tier clients.

He talks about how he’ll be reading a magazine and see an article in Fortune about how one business is using a specific technique to succeed and his mind is always looking for ways to adapt ideas from one niche to another so he’ll cut the article out and mail it to one his clients and write a quick note on post it note saying, “I thought you’d be able to use this idea in your business.”

Well, in a world of a person who receives almost no personalized mail, let alone personalized mail from someone they admire, this is HUGE.

How about online?

This is where having a kick ass blog can be extremely valuable.

If your blog revolves around answering the questions of your fans, THIS is an act of service, especially if you find that a bunch of people are asking the same question.

Another way to do this is in Email. Eben Pagan, through his female and male dating sites is an absolute master at doing this. Every one of his emails is selling something but just about every one of them is at least 5 pages, printed out on paper, of him doing Q&A and giving great, in-depth answers to the questions.

I can’t tell you how useful I found the information, even though it had nothing to do with a specific question I had asked. Some of the questions I’d never even thought to ask and then there’s the part of me that felt dumb for asking. I KNOW for a fact this was one of the reasons I ended up buying from him.

4. Words of Affirmation

For some people they feel most assured of your love when you encourage them.

One person once again who’s marvelous at doing this with his top tier clients is Dan Kennedy. If you get his newsletter he makes it a point to applaud marketing pieces submitted to him by clients. He talks about what he loves about what they produced and what great results were produced because they paid attention to him and took action.

I can’t imagine being one of those clients and not feeling all warm and fuzzy inside getting an ‘Atta Boy’ from the master himself. He pretty much does the same thing with his info summit when he has his “Info-Marketer” of the year contest. But think about how much more magnified this is.

In this contest people submit their winning marketing campaigns and Bill and Dan decide out of all the stuff received, who will compete. Then each person who made the cut, usually 6-8 people, go in front of the room and show and tell about their work of art.

So, if a person is wired to feel loved from words of affirmation, they get it not only from the guru’s Dan and Bill, but also from guru’s and other attendees in the audience that talk to them at the bar, on breaks, after the event, for possibly YEARS TO COME, “Hey, I say you at the Info summit back in 2007 when you were showing off your toilet seat campaign! Man was that a great idea!!! I used it and got like a 25% response rate!!! THANK YOU!”

See what I mean?

How can you encourage and affirm the worth of the people who support you in the fashion you’ve grown accustomed to?

5. Touch in a Way That Communicates Love

Some people only feel that you love them when you physically touch them in a way that says love to them.

And of course, if this were limited strictly to sexual petting, people couldn’t get this need met with 99% of people they know who aren’t their lovers. So yes, there is hope for us, using this in our chosen professions. But like I’ve mentioned before, you’ve got to have this people in front of you to accomplish this which is why if you do have the top 20% of your clients giving you money from all over the world, that you herd them into a room, together where you can put your hands all over them. Hahaha

Of course, our touching in a professional environment is limited but I can’t tell you, as a man,  how valuable I found shaking Tony Robbins hand to be. It was once, it was on stage, and there were a bunch of people lined up to do it who, like me, were signed up to go to his Mastery Program.

A hand shake. It was more than enough touch for me. Shit, I’ll always remember it.

For women, this comes easy and is varied. Lots of women find it easy to be touchy feely and their intuition tells them how to do it just right with hugging, kissing on the cheek, touching of the arm, on and on. And they’re smooth at doing it with both sexes.

This is one that you have to be the judge on, person by person, but it’s definitely one that carries power and not to be neglected.

So there you have it. The Five Love Languages and a few ideas of how to use them to woo your clients.

If you have any to add, please feel free to tell me about them below in the comments.

Talk soon,

Note Taking Nerd #2

If you’re running a small local, bricks and mortar business this onewon’t be all that difficult to pull off.