Pepe 1

Are you too full of yourself or is the person who says you are, full of shit?


Hey you,

It’s #2.

Today you and I will be talking about how “Extreme Self Care”  can allow you to go through your day behaving courageously, calmly and courteously. The power trio.

One of Thomas Leonard’s, the author of “The Portable Coach: 28 laws of attraction for business & personal success”, ways of knowing he was succeeding in the moment was by how nice he was being to people.

This was the same guy who advocates that you become incredibly selfish as we talked about in length in Part 1 of this 2 part article.

Pepe Embodies The Power Trio

He was courageous in letting females know what he wanted and not being a “friend zone” wuss. He always exuded a calm, assertive energy. And he was always courteous in the face of rejection. He never got flustered or angry or turned into an asshole just because he didn’t get his way and no one wanted to be around him. He was always chill.

In the episode where I clipped the picture above from, he spotted from land, a black cat on an ocean liner who’d snuck under a railing that’d been painted white and now looked to him to be a sexy female skunk who couldn’t wait for the opportunity to jump on his bones.

So, taking one of Thomas Leonard’s 28 laws of success into mind, he “Over-responded to this event” and dove into the water and raced along the bottom of the ocean to pursue what he wanted. When he climbed aboard the ship and people started screaming “Le Pew”, he sent everyone running for the lifeboats, thus abandoning ship.

With free reign of the vessel, Pepe makes his stop the luxurious salon on board to get funky fresh in the flesh for the pursuit of his lady friend. He takes a second to indulge in Extreme Self Care by drying himself poofy and then gives his skunk fur the 100 brush stroke treatment. Hunk City, right!!!

Extreme Self-Care

Appearance is one thing we sometimes neglect in pursuit of placing others ahead of ourselves. And it’s something I believe chips away at our self esteem when we don’t present the shiniest package possible to the world and most importantly… to ourselves in the mirror.

Thomas has a section in his “Become Incredibly Selfish” chapter that gives a list of 10 areas to focus on that help you present your best self, titled “Extreme Self Care”. I’m simply giving you this section as it’s presented by Thomas because I love the way he lays out all the actionable steps.

Here you go…

Living in today’s world places many demands on your body, mind, heart, and spirit. The purpose of extreme self-care is to create a positively selfish focus on balance, well-being, and quality of life.

I started thinking this way almost five years ago, but I didn’t make a total commitment to the concept until late in 1 996-after the rewarding but physically, spiritually, and emotionally intense experience of building up Coach University to be the world leader in virtual instruction. It was an exciting accomplishment, but it also left me feeling out of balance.

The key word here is extreme.

Self-care always sounded like a good idea, but I couldn’t get interested in it until I could picture how to make a comprehensive and (for me) radical change. During the transition, I was supported by no fewer than ten health-care professionals, including a physician, a coach, a nutritionist, a therapist, and a Rolfer (deep-tissue massage specialist).

Everyone has his or her own way of manifesting extreme self-care, so please adapt these suggestions to meet your needs. Some of them may strike you as too extreme right now. But, then, your sense of what’s possible for you to attain is going to grow tremendously. So don’t be concerned, and just give extreme self-care a second look after you’ve completed this book.

By then you may find yourself much more comfortable with the notion of reaching for the best. For now, it’s okay if you want to view this section as just a glimpse at where you’re headed.

The areas you should focus on are:

I. Stress elimination
2. Environment and family
3. Pleasure
4. Well-being
5. Support and experts
6. Ingestion
7. Appearance
8. Sustainability
9. Daily rituals
10. Special-care items

1. Stress Elimination

Note that we’re saying stress elimination, not stress reduction. If you focus on stress elimination, then, at the very least, you will achieve stress reduction. If you focus only on stress reduction, you may not get enough benefit to make a difference.

  • If your job, business, or profession is harming you and you can’t seem to make it completely stress-free, either quit, sell it, or change professions.
  • Make a list of ten promises you have made to others that are causing you stress, even if it’s stress that you can handle. Revoke all ten of these promises and work out alternatives with the promises.

As you may or may not know (if you’re new around these parts), I’m a fan of mystery novels and here is an excerpt from a Robert Parker “Spenser Series” book I’m basking in now that illustrates a key trait most people aren’t selfish enough to embrace…

“I looked at my watch. Quarter to eleven. She’d be here in an hour and a half, or so she had promised. Punctuality was not Susan’s strength. She always intended to be on time, but seemed to have some kind of chronometric dyslexia, which thwarted her intent, nearly always. Had she been predictably late, say fifteen minutes every time, then you could simply adjust your expectations. But she was sometimes a minute late and sometimes an hour late, and on rare and astonishing occasions, she was five minutes early. Since I had no way to gauge her coming hither or her going hence, I accepted the fact that readiness is all and remained calm. However late she might be, she was always worth the wait.”

If you know yourself to be a person who’s never gonna be on time for stuff, DON’T PROMISE THAT YOU WILL. This will help manage other’s expectations and save you shit load of stress.

Of course there’s some instances where time is critical like flights and appointments in court or stuff like that but when it comes to petty stuff, don’t stress yourself out over other people’s expectations of you.

  • Identify the three sources (people, roles, expectations of others) of your current stress. Completely eliminate these three items.
  • Get a house cleaner.
  • Have your errands run by someone else.
  • Arrange to have all bills, paper, and administrative tasks handled electronically or by an assistant who handles everything automatically.
  • Completely resolve any legal, tax, or financial clouds or problems.

2. Environment and Family

We are all products of our environments. But we have the option of designing and adapting our environments to best serve us.

  • Revamp your home environment to make it more restful and nurturing. Be fully aware of every aspect of your physical environment and draw energy from it. Fully respond to your environment. If something goes wrong, instantly learn from the experience and grow. If you don’t like something, fix it now.
  • Back up your computer weekly.
  • Your spouse, your children, your partnerships, your friendships, and your pets should all add energy to your life. If they do not, pursue counseling.
  • Tolerate absolutely no clutter or messes in or around your house.
  • Have everything in your home and office fully and properly organized and filed. (Everything!)

3. Pleasure

You know what makes you feel great, so please write down your top ten favorite personal, whimsical, intellectual, and entertainment pleasures below…

Now for each item listed above, conceive of at least three different ways to put more of each into your life.

4. Well –Being

Some of the following steps toward physical and emotional well-being will require using health-care professionals, but there’s no better investment you can make. It isn’t indulgence; it’s a healthy respect for maintenance of a key asset: you. Greater well-being pays off in smoother, more easily sustained performance.

  • Give up the future; live in the here and now, and do not chase anything.
  • Have a complete physical exam every one to three years.
  • Have a complete blood testing workup and discuss the results with a licensed nutritionist.
  • Exercise daily for at least 30 minutes, even if you must hire a trainer to keep yourself on track.
  • If you react inappropriately to others or to problems, get to the source of the emotional reaction.
  • Cultivate excellent posture, move naturally, and keep your body well balanced and integrated through yoga or through the services of a trainer.
  • If you find it difficult to eat nutritionally correct meals, arrange for prepared food to be delivered twice a week.
  • Be totally free of adrenalized behavior.
  • Arrange to be lovingly touched or held several times per week, each time for as long as you need it. Arrange for frequent massages.
  • Know what motivates you.

5. Support and Experts

Extreme self-care is made possible by the investment you make in all areas of your life, including the investment you make in the services of experts.

  • Work with a personal coach who has a track record of helping others practice extreme self-care and who is a terrific example of the benefits of this program.
  • Work with a chiropractor or other bodywork specialist who can remove any energy blocks.
  • In addition to regular massage, learn about Rolfing or other deep-tissue bodywork.
  • If needed or beneficial, enter therapy with an expert in your area of primary concern.
  • Go to a dermatologist and have the skin on  every part of your body thoroughly examined.
  • Develop a supportive relationship with what you consider to be God, or the Divine Force (or whatever is the equivalent for you).
  • Be a source of unconditional support and love for a friend or family member and draw on their unconditional support of love in return.
  • If you have money concerns or problems, work them out completely, using an expert or team of experts.
  • Build a Rolodex of several well-recommended experts that you can call on for assistance, from attorneys to tree surgeons, from accountants to psychiatrists.

6. Ingestion

Open mouth, insert extreme self-care…

  • Drink at least a half gallon of spring water each day.
  • Take a timed-release vitamin C (500-1,000mg) daily, if recommended.
  • Take a nutritionist-recommended multivitamin daily.
  • Do not smoke. Drink alcohol only very rarely (if at all).
  • Do not use caffeine or sugar.
  • Eliminate most meat and dairy products (if medically appropriate for you) from your diet.
  • Treat your body as the temple it is.

7. Appearance

Extreme self-care applies to the outer as well as the inner you. As Oscar Wilde said, it is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances.

  • Toss every single article of clothing that does not make you look great. Replace them with clothing in colors that flatter your skin tone.
  • Have your hair styled and/or colored exactly as you most like it.
  • Have your nails professionally manicured.
  • If you want or need hair removed, see a licensed electrolysis expert.
  • Have (or give yourself) facials at least monthly.
  • Wear only great shoes.
  • Keep your body in excellent shape, toned and exercised regularly.
  • Keep your teeth looking great, and smile broadly at every opportunity.

8. Sustainability

Part of extreme self-care is to integrate the changes that you are making. They should become natural behavior for you, not just a temporary effort.

  • Restructure your finances (cut expenses, increase income) so that you have absolutely no financial concerns and money does not drive your decisions.
  • Work through all of your parental and sibling issues in therapy so you won’t be blindly guided by the past.
  • Resolve and heal from whatever damage was done to you prior to today.
  • Learn to say no easily.
  • Know what your strengths are. Install support systems to do for you what you can’t, won’t, or don’t do for yourself.

9. Daily Rituals

Extreme self-care is a daily process, not just  a one-time program.

  • Stretch daily
  • Have a relaxing pre-bedtime ritual (reading, music, touch, etc.) so you fall asleep with a smile on your face.
  • Floss well, twice daily.
  • Have a waking-up routine that’s nourishing and deliberate. (See Free Notes we did on Eben Pagan’s “Wake Up Productive” for a kick ass step-by-step way to accomplish this)
  • Make sure that your days are spent doing what you most want to do, not what you should be doing or what others expect of you.
  • Underpromise consistently – don’t get caught in the trap of overperforming to catch up.
  • Each evening have something wonderful to look forward to.
  • Have a specially identified time in your schedule just for yourself.
  • Stay in touch with yourself and your feelings throughout the day.

10. Special Care Items

Here’s where you can note down your special needs or wants that you have that you seen elsewhere on this list. Use your imagination and, of course, be very specific.

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Can you see how consistently focusing on some of these self-care habits would allow yo to behave courageously, calmly and courteously?  What do you think? Me, I fell in love with these ideas and was delighted to see them displayed for me to choose from and make myself aware of.

Have fun loving the hell out of yourself!!!

Talk soon,

Note Taking Nerd #2