Get Help, Not Hassle, When You Use The One Key Distinction Of Hiring That I’m Gonna Share With You Today

Super Squirel

If you aren’t Superman, Superwoman, or Super Squirrel, you need this post…

Hey You,

It’s #2.

Being a small business/website owner is a lot of work.

Not hard work. Busy work. Hard work is pouring and finishing concrete in the blazing hot ass sun. You want more hard work? Pouring hotter-than-the-depths-of-hell asphalt with no shade all the while inhaling the toxic fumes from the oil and chemicals they use to make it. That’s hard work you should be grateful you don’t have to do.

If you work at any kind of desk, you’ve got it made in the shade. But this doesn’t mean you’re excused from having to do a shit-ton of work.

I have to let you in on a little secret…

I’d be pretty fuckin’ lost AND overfuckingwhelmed if the Chief wasn’t on my team. I’d fry if I had to do it all alone and I’m guessing you might be somewhat similar to me.

For example, just with this site, I take care of the majority of the content creation/management – blog posts, article writing, twitter blocks, note taking, etc.

Chief takes care of all the technical stuff like creating the sales/squeeze/thank you pages, customer service, aweber management, salesletter/auto-responder writing (I’ve been doing bullets for these letters, he’s the one writing the rest of the letter), creating and delivering content for the mastermind group and consulting calls, etc.

Just that stuff alone takes a minimum of 40 “Productive” hours a week of each of ours time.

What Most People Call Work, Ain’t Work

In recent months I’ve gunned for top productivity and have achieved a minimum of 35-4o hours PRODUCTIVE time every week. Not 40 hours at my office. That’s COMPLETELY different.

What the majority of people call “working hours” aren’t working hours at all.

Here’s what the New York Times found…

American workers, on average, spend 45 hours a week at work, but describe 16 of those hours as “unproductive,” according to a study by Microsoft. America Online and Salary.com, in turn, determined that workers actually work a total of three days a week, wasting the other two. And Steve Pavlina, whose Web site (stevepavlina.com) describes him as a “personal development expert” and who keeps incremental logs of how he spends each working day, urging others to do the same, finds that we actually work only about 1.5 hours a day. “The average full-time worker doesn’t even start doing real work until 11:00 a.m.,” he writes, “and begins to wind down around 3:30 p.m.”

The average professional workweek has expanded steadily over the last 10 years, according to the Center for Work Life Policy, and logging 70-plus hours is now the norm at the top. And there are those of us who work even when we are at home, driving or worse. A poll conducted for Staples found that almost half of the small-business managers in the United States work during time meant for family, while 49 percent make business calls and check e-mail messages while behind the wheel; 18 percent read e-mail messages in the bathroom.

See what I mean by the defining “Productive” working hours as different from working hours?

I define Productive works hours as those spent with no distraction from stuff like texts, email alerts, “got a minute” conversations, or web surfing porn or other time wasting sites like Icanhazcheezeburger.com. This time is entirely focused balls to the wall on one task to completion.

And as I mentioned above, just running this site takes the Chief and I a minimum of 40 hours a week for each of us. And this isn’t counting any other help we get.

“So What Am I To Do If I Can’t Do It All By Myself?”

This is a great question.

You need help. I need help. We both need help if we’re ever gonna make shit happen on a grand scale.

This is why attracting awesomely talented people to help you is such a crucial skill to develop and this is what I want to talk about today.

But what you won’t find here is hiring procedure and interviewing strategies. If you want some awesome suggestions on those topics, I suggest you go see this post here. Also, we won’t be talking about outsourcing.

What I’m going to emphasize today has everything to do with what you do before you ever hire someone or outsource any kind of work project and this is…

The Fine Art of Repelling the People you’d never want to work with so that the only people who show up to offer their skill sets to you are 100 times more likely to be a good fit

First we’ll start of with how NOT to ask for help…

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What’s wrong with this ad?

Well, besides the fact that it does everything to say, “If you have a voice box, call me,” it completely leaves out the contact info for anyone with a the ability to string a sentence together to call in. Please don’t run ads like this. Please.

Now here’s a few real world examples of what I believe to be the right way to shoo away people you’d loathe working with…

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New Auckland Restaurant ‘Murder Burger’ discovered first hand the power of Social Networking. After an unsatisfactory response from an ad placed for staff on Trademe website- ‘Murder Burger’ posted an unusual but very funny staff wanted ad in their front window. It was seen and published on Social Media Website Flickr. In two weeks Murder Burger have received an overwhelming response with over 100,000 hits on flickr and 665 applicants for the burger flipping roles.

This ad took a giant set of balls to place. It’s laced with humor and it flies directly in the face of “professional want ads”. But lemme ask you, what’s the purpose of the ad – to be accepted by industry peers or to single out only the people who are going to fit seamlessly into your company culture?

Oh, you don’t want to waste your time hiring “Professional Interviewers” who wow you with their flair and just melt to shit after 2 months, wasting your time and your money spent advertising and training? That’s what I thought.

Look at this next gem…

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Once again, no fucking around about who isn’t perfect for this opportunity. If you’re ashamed of the fact that you love to eat fattening cake, go find somewhere else to work.

Now take a peep at this one…

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Now while this isn’t for someone hiring, it still possesses the core of the lesson were hammering home here… WEED OUT WHO YOU DON’T WANT TO WORK WITH!!!

This ad, by airing this guys dirty laundry, sorts out any all people who can’t see past his mistake and acknowledge what marvelous assets he brings to the table for their business. Well done.

Would you hire him to help with your specific opportunity? Maybe. Maybe not, but that doesn’t take away from what a great job he did of calling out the elephant turd on the table that could be a potential deal breaker down the road.

This next one has got to be one of my personal favorites of all time…

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This is the classic small space example of how to scare away anyone who’s completely wrong for the position. While this ad throws down one helluva wilderness challenge, this next one does an equally good job at calling out the brave for a desk job using all the space available for an online posting…

The best journalism-job want ad ever ever.

You should, like, strongly consider applying to work for this guy:


We want to add some talent to the Sarasota Herald-Tribune investigative team. Every serious candidate should have a proven track record of  conceiving, reporting and writing stellar investigative pieces that provoke change. However, our ideal candidate has also cursed out an editor, had spokespeople hang up on them in anger and threatened to resign at least once because some fool wanted to screw around with their perfect lede.

We do a mix of quick hit investigative work when events call for it and mini-projects that might run for a few days. But every year we like to put together a project way too ambitious for a paper our size because we dream that one day Walt Bogdanich will have to say: “I can’t believe the Sarasota WhateverTribune cost me my 20th Pulitzer.” As many of you already know, those kinds of projects can be hellish, soul-sucking, doubt-inducing affairs. But if  you’re the type of sicko who likes holing up in a tiny, closed  off ice with reporters of questionable hygiene to build databases from scratch by hand-entering thousands of  pages of documents to take on powerful people and institutions that wish you were dead, all f or the glorious reward of having readers pick up the paper and glance at your potential prize-winning epic as they flip their way to the Jumble… well, if that sounds like journalism Heaven, then you’ re our kind of sicko.

For those unaware of Florida’ s reputation, it’ s arguably the best news state in the country and not just because of the great public records laws. We have all kinds of  corruption, violence and scumbaggery. The 9/11 terrorists trained here. Bush read My Pet Goat here. Our elections are colossal clusterfucks. Our new governor once ran a health care company that got hit with a record fine because of  rampant Medicare fraud. We have hurricanes, wildfires, tar balls, bedbugs, diseased citrus trees and an entire town overrun by giant roaches  ( only one of those things is made up ) . And we have Disney World and beaches, so bring the whole family.

Send questions, or a resume/cover letter/links to clips to my email address below. If you already have your dream job, please pass this along to someone whose skills you covet. Thanks.

Matthew Doig
Sarasota Herald-Tribune 1741 Main St. Sarasota FL, 34236  ( 941 )  361-4903 matthew.doig@heraldtribune.com

I love how this ad paints a pristine portrait for what is expected of you if you apply for this job. And the author does it in a fashion that gives you the worst case scenario (threaten to quit, hand entering thousands of pages, all to have readers glance at what you wrote) and the best (Pulitzer prize).

No one will walk into this job and find a rude awakening.  Nor will any true journalist not feel that this guy “Gets” it.

The Rule of Communication Is To Not Be Misunderstood

If you strive for this in all of your job or project postings, I believe you’ll be happy more often than not.

Now go on out and get the exact help you need to crush it in whatever venture you’re setting your little corner of the world on fire with!

Talk soon,

Lewis LaLanne

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