These Marketing Notes On Frank Kern’s Promotional Strategies Course Reveal What It Takes To Ravish Open Into Ecstasy The Seasoned Cougar Buyers of Your Market As Well As The Skittish Virgins

Hey You,

It’s Lewis a.k.a. Nerd #2.

Fuck the Midas touch.

When it comes to learning email marketing strategies I want to see proof that I don’t have to be lucky, talented, or connected to make them work.

I want someone to show me exactly where to put my fingers and what to do with them in order to get the money gushing and flowing out of my perfect prospect’s bank account into the constantly hungry mouth that is my bank account.

That’s exactly what you’ll see Kern does in this course in the notes below . . .

The core fundamental of making any marketing work is rooted in Dan Kennedy’s triangle model he’s been using forever that Kern refers to now. For your marketing to produce results you need . . .

The Right Message Matched To The Right Market At The Right Time

You have to be tuned in to who you’re talking to. You want know specifically what they’re moving towards and what they’re moving away from.

One of the biggest lies people wanting to be internet marketers buy into is that if you have a big list that you’ve built off of launches, JV’s and what not, that you’re set.

What most people don’t talk about is the fact that you’re golden for all of about 40 days. After this the responsiveness of that list starts declining.

One of the reasons this happens in this niche is that these customers are on a shit-ton of lists. So they’re seeing a ton of similar offers so nothing really stands out in their minds.

Second, people mostly opt into your list from other people’s list just to get some free shit. This leads to good results but not great and this is why this isn’t the most fertile ground for your business to grow.

You can tell which list segments or markets are best for you based on the results of your message. And the focus of this course is mainly focused on improving the quality of your email messages within campaigns and these are comprised of . . .

· Subject Line

· Click Through Rate

· Landing Page/Offer

All of these need to be on point in order for your email campaign to produce results.

How To Determine The Quality of Your Traffic

To prove the potency of your list source you measure the responsiveness to your email campaigns.

And the most important measurement is with your subject line a.k.a. your open rate.

And Kern’s data has proven through measuring his results that these joint venture launch lists ARE NOT the best lists to pursue.

The Most Desirable Place To Grow Your List Is Through PAID Advertising

What Frank has  found is that the internet marketing buyers freak out about having to spend money on campaigns yet they’re totally willing to go out and buy the next $2,000 product that gets launched with much less resistance than if someone asked them to go spend $100 bucks on Facebook ads.

1st Reason You Want To Use Paid Ads:

There’s a slim chance of these people being on everyone else’s list. Think about it. They wouldn’t click on an ad if they were already getting emails about your new product from other internet marketers. This means you potentially get to be one of the first in line and the first person to enlighten someone usually gets a special place in a buyer’s heart.

2nd Reason You Want To Use Paid Ads:

People have to take a series of actions to get to you. So say with a Facebook ad, this person had to get out of Facebook mode, click, see your landing page, read/watch, enter their info, re-confirm on double opt in lists (he says he uses double even though Eben Pagan and Ryan Deiss don’t), and all of this equals quite a bit of shit people had to do to even have the privilege of getting on your list.

The best open rates he’s ever had have come off lists he built off of PAID ADVERTISING.

He gets more clicks from smaller paid traffic lists than the ginormous lists he builds for free with joint ventures.

If you can’t sell what you’re selling with paid traffic, you’re doing something wrong.

The key is to be able to buy traffic and convert that traffic at a profit, its game over. Your money worries are over. And this program is all about.

Your Subject Line Is God – Everything Hinges On This Little Bastard

If your subject line doesn’t cause a person to click, they’ll never see the body copy of your email. If they never see the body copy, they’ll never see your landing page. If they never see your offer, they’ll never give you money.

If your subject line doesn’t work, nothing else will and you may as well not even built the list.

For his auto-responders he uses Aweber, icontact, and infusionsoft. He primarily uses Aweber and icontact. At the time he shot these videos he was in love with Aweber over icontact because he felt they were getting better delivery AND it’s cheaper.

Now he’s showing you his Aweber stats to confirm for you that his paid traffic is getting the highest open rates of all of his little segmented lists he has in here. And he doesn’t just toss everyone in the same bin. He has separate lists for paid traffic vs. JV traffic.

The subject line . . . “DAMMIT! (lol)” . . .  to his paid list had 43.7% open rate. He thinks this might be the best he’s ever gotten.

The subject line . . . “worst sales letter EVER” . . . had a 36.9% open rate.

He believes the reason this is so is because people who went the “Paid” route are highly motivated evidenced by all the hoops they’re willing to jump through in order to even be able to see the email.

They feel like the email is their reward for the work they did so it’d be dumb not to open it.

He made of point of showing how he messed up and sent a campaign to the wrong list of 15,382 people under his cousin Trey’s name and got a higher open rate when he noticed his mistake and sent the email to the right list of only 10,357 people under his name.

And what’s crazy is those 10,357 are part of the 15,382 and he still got a higher open rate numerically.

He’s doing to this hammer home the point that Paid Traffic sourced lists kick ass. Get ready for the market to be a thousand times more competitive now. Hahaha! And oh yeah, he loves him some Facebook because he says Google has turned into assholes when it comes to buying paid traffic from them.

Subject Line: “DAMMIT! (lol)” – Why Kern Believes It Works

For people who don’t live in their inbox they’re checking email a lot less and they’re doing so with people they’re friends with so they’re trading dirty jokes, pictures or just talking shit to each other.

This subject line meets them in this mode.

“SAVE $10. SITE WIDE NOW” doesn’t. You want to be conscious of the mindset people are in within the media you’re meeting them in.

Another reason this works is that people are drawn to drama and disaster and follies in other people’s lives.

Think about how people rubber neck a car accident, how bad news sells in the press, and how popular the show America’s Funniest Home Videos is where the winning clips usually involve someone getting their testicles, face, or ass bashed. We’re addicted to witnessing other people’s mishaps.

Use this. Just don’t make it old and stale because you used it too much. Think sprinkling vs. hosing.

The Email Body Copy Itself

I’m looking at three emails here and one commonality I’m finding is that they all range from 5-7 short paragraphs, most of them one sentence to a paragraph, one of them being the link to take you to the landing page.

The other thing you’ll notice about Kern’s emails is that they’re all in the tone of how someone would talk to their friends. Your friends don’t know shit about HTML and the ones you know that do, aren’t sending your personal emails via HTML.

More often than not, they aren’t prolific writers, or they’re good at writing but they’re too lazy to do a lot of it just to send you to a website. And so their message is just bare bones conversational gives a glimpse of why to click and the link.

They don’t try to drive you to a message with scarcity.

Another thing friends have in common is that they usually do their best to make each other laugh. Not all people do this because some people are just too damn scared of not being seen as funny, but I’d venture to say 9 out of 10 people love giving the gift of laughter.

So if you can be funny, do it.

Kern in this email says, “I just sent you a video about an hour ago but the email thingy said it was from my cousin, Trey. It was actually from me. Sorry. I’ve only been doing this “Internet thing” for 12 years so I’m still a little rusty lol”.

No badoom-siss jokey jokes – Just conversational in context joking, poking fun at himself.

The one thing he does different than your friends will though is he makes one of the sentences, the link. So instead of http//www. he just hyperlinks the sentence as such . . . Go check this out you filthy pervert lol . . .

In the “worst sales letter ever” email, Kern actually made the first sentence of the email a hyperlink to the site he wanted to go to. Here’s what the email looked like . . .

Come see the shittiest sales copy ever . . .

It’s especially horrible because there’s nothing even there for you to buy lol.

But hey, there’s something waiting there that you may or may not benefit from seeing and this terrible, no-good, absolutely rotten sales letter shines fluorescent light on it revealing all the purdy as well as the ugly.

And if you’re incredibly lazy like me, rejoice in the fact that’s it’s only half a page long and will take you 90 seconds to read, even if you were in the slow reading group at school and you move your lips as you read like I do sometimes.

Go poop on the salesletter here and holla at me if you’re interested.


Here’s a loose template of how to combine the powerful elements from both of these winning emails . . .

SUBJECT: Ugliest (your whatever) of all time

This has got to be the ugliest (your whatever) ever created.

It’s butt-ugly, I mess up a few times on it, and it’s completely unprofessional.

And you still want to go see it because it’s incredibly important if you want to (whatever you provide solutions for).

So instead of never getting it out to you because I got paralyzed by my obsessive compulsive desire to be perfect, I damn near drove myself crazy making this available in its raw, far-from-perfect awesomeness so you can have it now instead of never.

Go make fun of me here.

Hit me with the good, the bad, and the ugly feedback when you’re done.

Coco Beware

This is just generic copy but you can see the rhythm that he rolls with – the pattern if you will. Three links, self deprecating humor, conversational, subtle commanding language, short and to the point.

Here’s a follow up to the email above you could use . . .


Remember how I sent you the ugliest videoyesterday?

Well, my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder desire to be perfect all the time was totally shamed when it saw how people like you don’t give a shit if the video is perfect or not. All they care about is that it brought them one step closer to (whatever it promised).

Now my O.C.D. wants to be more like you. Smile

And because this isn’t a beauty pageant, this video got a WAY higher response than I ever guessed it would and people are shaming my O.C.D. even harder by spreading the video around to all their friends.

This ugly ass video is serving as an exorcism for my O.C.D. demon.

See what everyone is fussing about here

Talk soon,

Coco Beware

Another subject line that he used was “FYI”. This got him a 54.2% open rate and a 24.9% click through rate.

Here’s an example of how the rest of this email was laid out (Pay attention to the first sentence here and every one you write because they show up next to the subject line in email clients like Gmail) . . .


Hey – decided to do a sex seminar involving a weird and slightly controversial topic.

And because porn + learning = awesome I made a video that explains it here.

The Link To Your Porn Learning Video

There’s no charge so go on ahead and peep your little eyes out. J

Coco Beware

See nothing scarcity oriented or douchey. Not long. Conversational.

Here’s another template to test that I adapted the same exact structure and theme from an email he sent for his cousin Trey . . .

SUBJECT: the most pleasurable and profitable business in the galaxy?

I’ll give you a hint: It ain’t porn.

In this video you’ll discover that 47% of the people on the Forbes 400 list are in some form of this business.

And you’ll probably be stunned to find that my cousin Twondale, made his first million in the same bidniz. (Which he started with $600).

Go see the video here. It ain’t porn, but you’ll still like it.

Ray Ray

Meet Your Perfect Prospect Where They’re At

One thing to stay laser focused on is the relevancy of this message to your list.

You always want to keep in mind who you’re talking to. If you’re talking to coffee snobs, the subject line in the email above could be changed to “the most pleasurable and expensive cup of coffee in the world?” The question mark at the end of the subject line leaves things open. Adds intrigue.

Beyond the subject line, the intrigue continues with the first line saying it’s not what you think it is, making you want to open it even more.

Also if you can find studies to prove what you say, you want to include your findings in any compelling way you can.

How Not To Be A Douche

So now we know the importance of the list you’re mailing to and the weight that your subject lines carry and that paid traffic is the most receptive source of traffic you can get.

The definition of being a douche in this context is to hammer your list to death with the same exact offer. You see this happen during launches quite often – people broadcasting to their list en masse.

Here’s How to Promote Hard and Not Burn Your List Out . . .

When you’re doing an email campaign, the simplest way to do this is to remove the names of people who’ve already opened your email and re-email everyone left on the list.

Aweber makes this easy. You click one button titled “people who did not click” and lets you set up a new segmented list to send to. (SIDE TIP: He’s also sold on the idea of mailing at 8:00 A.M. Eastern time.)

Kern showed his Aweber stats where he did this the day after the first email and got 2,000 + additonal clicks, 5 hours later (shot this video same day he sent the email) that he wouldn’t have had had he not re-mailed to this segment of his list.  

Here’s my adapted version of what Kern sent the next day . . .


Justuploaded this for your viewing pleasure.

Gives you a front row seat to how I shoved a cool $93,000 into my bank account last week.

Go ahead and take what you see and copy and test it with my blessing.

Here’s to your shoveling a fortune into your bank account too!

Hacksaw Jim Dugan

PS. Don’t worry about being squeezed for an opt in. I made this just for people on my list and by the fact that you’re seeing this, you’re already there, so no worries.

You see there’s no complex copy formula here.

This isn’t an elaborate process that’ll take you forever to master. And when he did this with his icontact list, to un-opens, he got 18 more sales on this day, the day he’s shooting the video.

That’s $18,000 dollars more in the door from just changing your subject line and re-mailing and he’s not pissing people off who already took action by opening or opening and buying.

You can also customize emails to people who’ve opened and not clicked through or to people who’ve clicked through and not taken action also.

For this campaign he’s talking about he made a special video for the people who watched the initial video he sent but didn’t buy. He got an awesome 23% click through rate on this list of the lesser quality JV traffic list.

For the people who take action on this mailing, he’s going to just send them a follow up message with a link to the order form telling them to get on it because the class is closing.

You anticipate everyone not responding and you think ahead on how you can reach out to them and not piss them off.

These are some examples of how to mail and follow up without pissing people off.

What To Do Now

Can you see yourself writing fun, light-hearted 5-7 sentence paragraph emails now?

Remember, these messages were working on COLD traffic from paid ads. So shut up if you’re saying “Oh, he can write these short fun emails because he’s talking to people who he has a relationship with already or have a trusting relationship with the person endorsing him. Stop looking for ways to not use this strategy today with your email list.

You especially want to test this out if you feel like you have to write 8 mile long emails like Jay Abraham in order to get great results and you’re taking forever to finish a message and send it out.

Test this “quick to market” strategy. Let everything you’ve learned from these notes today prove itself wrong before discounting it. I think you see the common sense wisdom in what’s laid out here and I wish you the best in deploying it in your business.

As always, please feel free to share your feelings or your results with me in the comments below or in a personal email.

Talk soon,

Lewis LaLanne a.k.a. Note Taking Nerd #2 a.k.a. L.L. Cool Nerd

PS. Since you’re with me now clear the hell at the end of the post, I’m guessing you’d love to have every single page of the marketing notes I’ve taken on Frank Kern’s Promotional Strategies Course. And you’d be wise to go here now and put your hands on every single one of these ninja email marketing solutions here . . .