Red-Haired Rocker Puts Together An Advertisement That Is Better Than 95% of Madison Avenue Professionals Could Come Up With! See How To Write a Salesletter Using His Non-Pussy Strategy

Hey you,

It’s Lewis a.k.a. Nerd #2.

So I’m cruising Facebook the other day and I see this headline on one of L.A. Weekly’s updates . . .

“The Craigslist “Non-Pussy” Drummer Is a Phenomenon”

OF COURSE I had to click on that link. And this advertising magnificence proceeded to fill my screen . . .

Real Rock Drummer for NON-pussy band (L.A.)

Date: 2012-05-25, 12:28AM PDT

Reply to: wfqrc-3036860974@comm.craigslist.org

I do NOT play click track or backing tracks and GO SCREW if you think I’m gonna “tone it down a little, bro” so you can piddle away on your stringed sissy box. I WILL NOT play hotel café and don’t take direction from ninnies who live in their fucking parents basement and whack off to dreams of hanging out with Jack Johnson and rapping about his “process”, you piece of shit. I am a real mother fucker with balls of steel and have a drum set that loves to be ass fucked mercilessly from behind and I need to join a band who understands that stage-sex is part of the fucking game, dude. So when I’m fucking the shit outta the kit, you can’t be the guy in corner beating your limp taffy dick wishing that you could stick your dick in too, NO! You get that dick hard and fuck the stage with me, pussy boy. I’m so sick of stealing the show and would really love to meet some real sons of fucking bitches who aren’t afraid to use a sweat band for its intended purpose: wiping off fucking sweat, cum, groupies, pussy juice, blood, etc.

Do not write me for reasons of sass because I will FIND YOU and shred your fucking face with my SHIT-STORMING DRUM GODLINESS!

And boy am I glad clicked on that link because now I get to talk to you about one of the key elements of a NON-pussy advertisement that can skyrocket the response rate of any kind of advertising -even a church’s.

One thing I have to point out is that if you think the reason this ad is NON-pussy is because it uses curse words and sexual references, you’re COMPLETELY wrong and you’re MISSING the magic it has to offer you. The swearing and sexual innuendo is just a cherry on top and only one of the four elements of the magnificence that drove this ad to become a phenomenon.

We can both agree that this isn’t Shakespearian prose but guess what?

If I had a choice between hiring an English college professor to write my ad, or this guy, I’m going with the Non-Pussy Drummer EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. as long as he stays on target with the one thing he’s doing perfectly in this ad.

But before I reveal what this is let me first show you . . .

Two Men’s Style Of Advertising 

In general there are two ways to put your message in front of your audience. 

“Pussy Boy” advertising and “Non-Pussy” Advertising.

Maybe you know a “Pussy Boy”. He’s the kind of person who is so scared of what others think of him that he’s constantly walking on egg shells as to make sure absolutely no one he ever encounters disapproves of him.

And of course, everyone walks all over him. And people may like him as opposed to disliking him but they don’t truly respect him because they witness him constantly getting punked around by people in his life.

Pretty much where ever this guy goes, no one pays attention to him except for if they need something from him. He’s the person who fades into the background. He has zero dominant nor intriguing presence about him.

Now because I don’t know shit about making music, I’m not going to write a “Pussy Drummer Ad”. But I do know about being a recovering nice-guy so I’ll illustrate the difference these two styles of advertising with two different personal ads.

So let’s say “Pussy Boy” gets up the courage to advertise himself on Craig’s List.

He’s conscious of the fact that at the bar and the club he’s invisible and makes up his mind that he’s never gonna get laid by going there because in order for women to like him, they need to get to know him first and he can’t even bring himself to start a conversation with them because he’s so deathly afraid of rejection.

But little does he know that 9 out the 10 women who do actually get to know him, have decided five minutes into knowing him that they’ll never fuck him – well, not if they’re confident in their ability to attract a confident man who they can tell within seconds, has women on their level or better throwing themselves at him and sending a wake up call to their vajay-jay within the first minute of meeting him.

There are some women who befriend Nice Guys like this and keep them around as little security blankets to remind them that they’re pretty and that they’re fun to be with. Some women like the idea that these Nice Guy’s think that if they buy them dinners, gifts, flowers, etc. that they’ll someday get in the panties.

But 99.5% of the time, this “nice wimp gets the hot babe” scenario only happens in the movies.

And so under the spell of this disillusion he writes a Craig’s List advertisement like this one below which I got off a dating site… (I’ve changed the username of the guilty party) . . .

NICEGUYCONNETICUT

The biggest crime I’ll admit to is, and am often accused of, is being a ‘nice’ guy. I’ll plead guilty and accept that. Hopefully this leads to a lifetime of romance, love and laughter with someone special. Could that be you?

I’m an active, intelligent person who is looking for a fresh start. This is due to a divorce a few years ago.

I enjoy a variety of activities from playing golf and tennis to dining on find food and wine. Intelligent, stable and  responsible would also describe me. I like humor and laughter and enjoy going to movies and comedy clubs. I do consider myself pretty clever and witty!

Frankly, I do get set up by friends but never like hurting my friends feelings by not always approving of their choices. Dating online, that won’t seem to be an issue.

I’m seeking a woman who is intelligent, is easy on the eyes and has a great sense of humor.

“Fucking pussy.”

This guy could possess massive talent and potential, but women read this, one of the first thoughts that come to mind is some variation of, “What a fucking pussy.”

Now if a woman with high self-esteem had nothing else better to contrast this with, she might just settle for reaching out to this guy and decide to go meet him thinking that if she ended up being able to find some redeeming qualities in him, she could work on reaffixing his balls on to his body.

But if this guy’s listing goes up against one like Gary Halbert’s famed personal ad, that utilizes all four of the magic elements used in the “Non-Pussy” advertisement only at higher level, he’s going to be ignored in print just like when he’s at the bar.

Gary’s ad is long but I’ll snip from it the section that helps you see these four elements in action. Here it is . . .

7 Things Gary Does NOT Want From A Woman!

#1. DEATH OR DISEASE: This is my number one no-no.  Listen, I’ve never had sex with a gay man, a bi-sexual man, a transsexual man or any kind of man at all.  I hardly ever go near Santa Monica Boulevard and, when I do the only place I ever stop is Barney’s Beanery.

And, even then, I never eat quiche.

In other words, I’m straight.  Also, I’m not a hemophiliac.  I’ve never had a blood transfusion. I’m not a junkie and I never stick needles into my body.  I’m not promiscuous.  I don’t mess around with prostitutes (I tried it years ago and it was boring), and I’ve never even been close to Africa or Haiti.

What this means, of course, is with any kind of luck at all (knock on wood) I do not have AIDS.  Also, to my knowledge, I do not have any other type of dreadful communicable disease including syphilis, gonorrhea, herpes, hepatitis, or even the bubonic plague.

If you can’t say the same, please, please NOT respond to this ad.

#2. DRUG DRAMAS: Do you like to drink a little or get a little high once in a while so you can loosen up and party down?  You do?  Good!  That means you and I can have some fun. 

But please… read that first sentence again.  See where it says “a little” and “every once in a while”? Those words are important to me.  Therefore, if your idea of “a little” and “every once in a while” is to get drunk or stoned every day, if the way you like to use cocaine is by freebasing or injecting it, if you gulp down Valium or Quaaludes by the fistful, if you use PCP or heroin in any way, shape or form, then I must, once again, ask you to please NOT answer this ad.

#3. DESPERATE DILEMMAS: Are you sleeping in your car because your rent is six months overdue?  Is your ex-husband a hatchet murderer who is trying to track you down and who swears to mutilate any man who so much as looks at you?  Are you in desperate need of fast money because your poor old mother need a kidney transplant in order to keep on living?

I’m sorry.  I really am.  But I’m just an ordinary everyday nice guy.  I’m not Superman or even Lee Iacocca.  I’m very compassionate and very understanding but I have recently retired from trying to save the world.

Therefore, I’m not qualified to save your life. However, if you will let me, I might be able to enhance it by adding to it some excitement and romance.

#4. MARRIAGE: I’ve been married twice and, both times it spoiled a great romance.  I don’t want to get married again and I don’t want to live with you either.  You see, at this point in my life, I don’t want to own a woman.  I just want to enjoy one.

It would be nice if you decide to answer this ad, if you already have some sort of life of your own.  I don’t want to be your everything.  I would much rather be that special somebody you see two or three times a week and who makes you feel good.

Would that be OK?

#5. I DON’T WANT A SEXUAL SWINGER: Do you spend your evenings attending orgies at the A-Frame?  Do you have a lifetime membership at Plato’s?  Do you refuse to call yourself a prostitute even though you run a credit check on every man you meet before you go to bed with him?  Do you have a time clock in your panties and a cash register in your bra?

Sorry, we’re not compatible.

You know, even though I’ve been married and I’ve been around, I feel that by Southern California standards, I’m almost a virgin.  For example, someone told me recently Hugh Hefner has been to bed with more than 3,000 women.

Could that be true?  I don’t know but, if it is, he is, in my opinion, a man to be pitied, not to be envied.

I’ll take quality over quantity any day.

#6. I DON’T WANT A SEXUAL PRUDE: I bet by now you think I’m repressed, don’t you?  I bet you think the hot throb of lust does not live in my loins.  I bet you think if you and Kelly LeBrock showed up at my door with a suitcase full of excitement from Trashy Lingerie (they’re located at 402 N. La Cienga and they’ve got the hottest stuff in town!) and suggested we have a ménage a trois I would toss you both out on your ear and report you to Jerry Falwell.

You are wrong. You are wrong. You are wrong. You are wrong.

Fear not.  I may be cautious but I’m not crazy.

Hark unto me.  Listen.  Just because I’m not into freebasing, orgies and non-stop promiscuity doesn’t mean I’m dead.  It’s true I don’t want a woman who’s been sleeping with everything in pants.  However on the other hand, if you are a 35-year-old virgin who thinks foreplay should be 1/2 hour of begging and “oral sex” is the name of a disgusting new group of punk rockers then, you may rest assured, our stars were simply not meant to cross.

#7. I DON’T WANT A WOMAN WHO CAN’T STAND PROSPERITY: Don’t laugh. I lost the love of my life because things got “too good.” Some people are into the struggle and not the reward.

I’m into both.  As you already know, I like to work but work without reward is senseless.  It seems to me many women (and men) just insist on filling up their lives with a lot of needless trauma.

Not me.  I want the payoff along with the pain.

Therefore…

“If you don’t want the good
And just want the bad,
Don’t waste your time
By answering this ad!”

Good Lord, that was corny, wasn’t it?

Well, anyway, that’s my laundry list of what I don’t want and in fact, what I can’t handle.  Now comes the hard part.  I really feel awkward about saying what I do want. I’m afraid if I get too explicit it will seem like I’m an insensitive clod ordering something from a Chinese menu.

On the other hand, if I don’t set down some guidelines, I’m afraid this ad will be answered by many women with whom I would not be at all compatible.

The Four Elements Of A Non-Pussy Advertisement

You just saw all four of them in this tiny slice of Gary’s brilliant ad.

And here they are . . .

1. Specific

2. Concrete

3. Emotional

4. Connected to a Result

Non-Pussy advertising gets you the biggest return on your investment because it brings you highly qualified leads – i.e. your perfect prospects for the service or product AND that fit with your personality and company culture.

This is Dan Kennedy Magnetic Marketing 101.

The reason it does this is because it’s Specific, Concrete, Emotional, and Connected To A Result. Gary’s Non-Pussy ad addresses all four of these masterfully.

The Pussy Boy advertisement does a poor job of addressing these but in it’s own way it can work, but only in attracting a lower quality of lead or the completely wrong leads if anyone responds at all.

Now let’s dissect this legendary copy and see precisely how Gary put these elements to work for him in his advertisement and contrast them with how the pussy boy NICEGUYCONNETICUT didn’t.

1. Specific

Let’s start with Pussy Boy’s attempt to give women a glimpse into what he does with his free time . . .

“I enjoy a variety of activities from playing golf and tennis to dining on find food and wine. Intelligent, stable and responsible would also describe me. I like humor and laughter and enjoy going to movies and comedy clubs.”

Could this guy be any more broad, abstract and vague about his interests? Well, I guess this is one step above, “I like to have fun,” but it’s not much ahead of that. 

Yet this is way most people describe their services or products they offer if they do it at all. Blah. And most people don’t make a point of saying who should respond or not HOPING that the right people slip in  the door.

Now contrast Pussy Boy’s description of his leisure activities with one of Gary’s . . .

“Do you like to drink a little or get a little high once in a while so you can loosen up and party down? You do? Good! That means you and I can have some fun.

But please… read that first sentence again. See where it says “a little” and “every once in a while”? Those words are important to me. Therefore, if your idea of “a little” and “every once in a while” is to get drunk or stoned every day, if the way you like to use cocaine is by freebasing or injecting it, if you gulp down Valium or Quaaludes by the fistful, if you use PCP or heroin in any way, shape or form, then I must, once again, ask you to please NOT answer this ad.”

I love how open to living Gary’s style was.

Is there any confusion as one of things Gary likes doing with his lady? Maybe a little because didn’t tell you exactly what drugs he likes to indulge in once in a while but when it comes to targeting the perfect prospect, these two paragraphs do their job beautifully as no addicts nor Molly Mormons will respond and waste his time.

The more specific you get with who this is for and who it isn’t, the less selling you’ll have to do. You do this well enough like Gary did in his ad and people will throw themselves at you and you get to kick back and pick and choose which of all the perfect prospects coming to you, that you want to work with.

2. Concrete

Gary’s 7 part description of what he doesn’t want gives women a rather precise scale to measure these against.

There’s little to be left to mind about what Gary doesn’t want.

The Pussy Boy on the other hand is . . .

“I’m seeking a woman who is intelligent, is easy on the eyes and has a great sense of humor.”

Unless you’re trolling around in the dumpster, the majority of women who half ass have their shit together see themselves as somewhat intelligent, easy on the eyes, and having a great sense of humor.

This guy doesn’t stake his claim on actually having set in stone preferences.

A woman who can manage a McDonalds restaurant is intelligent at the very minimum in that arena. She might not be an astrophysicist but she’s mentally retarded.

“Easy on the eyes” is a pussy ass way of saying, “I’d only like hot women to respond but I won’t just come out and say it”.

I’d say the majority of women on the planet consider themselves easy on the eyes – especially when they’re drunk, and have access to make up, extensions, heels, girdles, fake eyelashes, botox, push up bras, etc. This statement is a wide open door to a broad expanse of women ranging from those who wake up gorgeous to those who are “easy on the eyes” after a 4 hour transformation process and seen under low lighting at 1:30 on Sunday morning. 

The subcommunication you see in Pussy Boy’s advertisement is that of, “I’ll take anyone who shows up and will have me but I’m going to try to put on a show like I’m picky.”

And this of course will lead to him 9.9 times out of 10 settling for a woman who doesn’t match his preferences. 

Gary on the other hand also used one sentence to describe what he’d like the woman who responded to his ad to look like and had a shit-ton of babes responding to his ad.

And if you’ve seen a picture of Gary before, you know they weren’t flocking to Jon Hamm.

So what was this line?

“someone who will take my breath away when I see her in a
string bikini!”

Well guess what? Women who are confident that they can take a man’s breath away when wearing a string bikini aren’t just going to have an amazing body. They’re going to be either very pretty or very cute. They’re not going to be grandmas, and they aren’t going to need a 4 hour production and “gear” in order to become “easy on the eyes” in just the right poor light. That’s just not the way it works.

This is why that single sentence is so incredibly powerful. It says so much without having to say it because the subcommunication says it all. It’s a maximum impact with minimum effort description.   

When you think of this, imagine giving tangible guidelines for who is the right person is for what you offer.

A jury of your peers should be able to look at your guidelines, look at the prospect who responded and tell you if this person is a fit or not. You’re not being specific enough if that isn’t possible.

3. Emotional

One thing to remember is that you’ll never in billion years bore people into the action of giving you money.

Do you see how Gary didn’t tell the women reading his ad that he was clever, witty, or funny? He simply was clever, witty, and funny and he let them experience & then realize this for themselves.

And of course, the ad wouldn’t land on everyone the same but for the girls that were right for Gary, they’d have been laughing their ass off (laughter of recognition) at his ad and nodding their head as they went down this list of all the things they’re not.

You have to beware of arousing the wrong emotions. 

About the only emotion Pussy Boy stirred up was pity which he accomplishes in the very first paragraph.

And you don’t have to be a mega-schooled psychologist to see that’s precisely the emotion he wanted to elicit. He’s looking for a mommy who will baby him and reward him for being her good little Pussy Boy.

So I guess you can say he’s finally done something right with his ad. Fuck, now that I think about it, maybe this entire ad is “right” for what he feels he deserves – to be alone or with a woman who dominates him, mothers him and treats him like her little lap dog.

And the same thing could be said for the business owner who designs ads that are unconsciously plead, “I’ll take anyone who shows up and will have me. Please call or come in. Please.”

Ads like this are welcoming to people who are cheap and disrespectful. They can see you don’t respect yourself so why should they? Ads that clearly tell cheap and disrespectful people to stay away will keep most of them away from you and the ones who slip in will take off when they see you living by the standards you set forth in the ad.

You want to be highly conscious of the emotional tone conveyed in your advertising.   

4. Connected To A Result

You want to create a mental movie for what someone should expect to have happen as a result of giving you money.

This is what Eben Pagan calls “Connecting your message to a result in your prospect’s mind.”

Did pussy boy attempt to “Connect to a Result” in his ad?

Yep. Here’s how he went about it . . .

“Hopefully this leads to a lifetime of romance, love and laughter with someone special. Could that be you?”

I’m asking you to never, ever, ever, ever, never use the word “hopefully” when asking someone to take action and place their faith in you.

I believe that getting that word out of your vocabulary entirely would only serve to be a good thing in your life. Hopefully is a weak thought – “Hopefully she answers the phone,” “Hopefully she likes me, “Hopefully she’ll let me kiss her,” “Hopefully I can get a boner tonight without my Viagra is she lets me go further,” “Hopefully the girl gives me a chance to even get a boner,” 

Fuck hopefully and any it’s wimpy word friends – possibly, maybe, try, etc. Each of these words encourage your mind to seek failure. And when verbalized, they repel people from you.

Speak from authority. State your preferences. And be fine with whatever the outcome is.

Now look how the Non Pussy Gary goes about connecting to a result . . .

I don’t want to get married again and I don’t want to live with you either. You see, at this point in my life, I don’t want to own a woman. I just want to enjoy one.”

It would be nice if you decide to answer this ad, if you already have some sort of life of your own. I don’t want to be your everything. I would much rather be that special somebody you see two or three times a week and who makes you feel good.”

Women will read a TON into this.

This sentence is gold digger, stalker, marriage-starved woman repellent. It calls out to a woman who isn’t brain washed by her parents, preachers, or the shit weasel politicians. And once again, a single sentence speaks volumes . . . “I don’t want to be your everything.”

In relevance to connecting to a result this conveys that he isn’t gonna be some jealous, controlling, and lying dirt bag. If anything, this ad conveys he’s honest to a fault as he’s making several damaging admissions. But they’re damaging admissions only in the eyes of the wrong prospect. The woman who doesn’t want to control or be controlled will melt when she reads this.

When your ads connect to a desired result and illustrate it in a way that your perfect prospect can make a mental movie out of and see themselves living with this result, enjoying it, being transformed for the better by it you don’t need any slick salesman tactics because this person has talked themselves 95% into it already.

Put An End To  “Non Pussy” Advertising

My favorite part of the “Non-Pussy” drummer ad is the opening line . . . “I do NOT play to a click track or backing tracks and GO SCREW if you think I’m gonna “tone it down a little, bro” so you can piddle away on your stringed sissy box.”

This is what the majority does with their advertising – dilute their message and piddle away their money on advertising media that doesn’t work.

Don’t be that person.

When it comes to communicating, I side with Jay Abraham when he says, “Communicate with impact or don’t communicate at all.”

If you never want to see the full potential of your advertising, you’ll always “tone it down a little, bro” and play things safe and boring.

If you want to punch your fist through the blah and be a real mother fucker with balls of steel (women are fully to do this as well) and you have a message that loves to be ass fucked mercilessly from behind so that it screams out to your perfect prospect that this is for them make sure that each of the Four Elements of a Non Pussy ad are present . . .

1. Specific

2. Concrete

3. Emotional

4. Connected to a Result

I also agree with Jay Abraham’s belief that says, “Shame on you if you’ve got something that positively impact someone’s life and you fail to help them see why they should have it.”

Use these Four Elements of a Non Pussy Advertisement to make sure you do right by as many of your perfect prospects as possible.

Talk soon,

Lewis LaLanne a.k.a. Note Taking Nerd #2 a.k.a. L.L. Cool Nerd

PS. One of the reasons I believe Kennedy respected Gary Halbert was not just because of Gary’s ability to influence and teach how to write a sales letter but also because they were both Non-Pussy kinda guys at heart. If you like the idea of doing the opposite of Pussies in the herd, the majority in your industry, and succeeding as a result of doing so, you have to go here and put your hands on these notes on Dan’s Renegade Millionaire course <—–