How To Become A Lucky Person

Leave a comment

Personal improvement notes from Eben Pagan’s “Mind Control” seminar which was directed at helping you take back the steering wheel of focus and lead yourself to the experience the blissful, orgasmic, and fulfilling life that is possible for you once you get the hell out of your own way.

Hey you, Lucky 2

It’s Lewis a.k.a. Nerd #2.

Have you ever known someone who it just seems like everything works out for them?

I have.

And I’m lucky enough to have one of these people as my baby brother.

People FUCKING LOVE this guy. Throughout his entire life he’s never hurt for friends, money, women, jobs, anything he needed. 

He’s very handsome and but more than that, he’s a fiercely loyal person and he’s got one of the friendliest and fun personalities of anyone I know.

Here’s a life and death example of how this blessed life of his works . . . 

More

Advertisements

Part 2 of 2: Marketing Notes On Driving Leads Into Your Evil Clutches, Er, I Mean, Loving Arms

Leave a comment

See the small business marketing strategies mega consultant Paul Lemberg revealed in Lead Landslide Module of his Formula 5 course where he spoke at length about increasing your business opportunities with more leads

Hey you,

It’s Lewis a.k.a. Nerd #2.

In Part 1 of this post, we talked about . . .  

What can you effectively implement that enhances what you’re already doing . . .

How you can make referring customers & clients a pleasurable process for your existing customers and clients . . .

Finding your ideal strategic alliance partners who will take action for you in the quest for finding more of your perfect prospects . . .

And the top 6 online traffic tactics that can bring these perfect prospects with money in hand.

Now in Part 2 here we’re gonna get all geek on boosting your lead flow by 5-25% in the next few weeks and getting at least 15% increase in this area of your business.

And do it in a way that’s even with or drops what you’re currently spending to get a customer.

Sound good? Good. Let us proceed.

Every Business Model Offers Different Opportunities

When we’re measuring the results of our marketing it’s never a cost. It’s always an investment in research because when we track all of our key metrics we know sooner than later when to bail on a bad investment so we don’t get hurt.

Idiots try to spend as little as possible on lead generation.

Some people think the outcome is spend as little as possible on marketing. WRONG.

When you understand the elementary math in your business you see that being able to spend more money than your competitors to get business gives you the advantage.

If the first thing you sell somebody costs $47.00 and their average annual purchases added up $130.00, which led to lifetime purchases of $750.00, how much would you be willing to spend to get a customer?

First you have to know your lead-to-conversion ratio. Let’s say it’s 4:1. Now how much would you spend?

$11.00 dollars invested allows you to break even on the first purchase. Would you trade $11.00 to get $750.00? You’d do that all day, and all night, right?

But the only way you see this kind of opportunity is if you know which of the numbers in your business to punch into your handy calculator.

Critical Numbers For You To Know and Questions You Must Have Answers For

More

Marketing Notes On Driving Leads Into Your Evil Clutches, Er, I Mean, Loving Arms

Leave a comment

See the small business marketing strategies mega consultant Paul Lemberg revealed in Lead Landslide Module of his Formula 5 course where he spoke at length about increasing your business opportunities with more leads 

Hey You,

It’s Lewis a.k.a. Nerd #2.

You want to look at marketing as a cost of getting sales that can bring back 10X or more what you spent.

What you’re about to see is gonna give you an idea of how many leads you need to pump in order to reach your revenue goal.

You’re also going to see how you can qualify leads and get rid of the ones that suck.

Then you’ll see how to track your marketing so you can measure
what’s working and what needs to be axed or tweaked.

Also be on the watch for how to find which tactics are going to give you leads that you aren’t using now so you can get them in the mix.

Everything to come will help you make sure your marketing runs smooth, is scalable, and is getting you the results you want.

How to Get Leads the Easy Way

More

The First Step To Building An Army of People Who Have Your Back And Carry You To Power

2 Comments

In these personal improvement notes on Wyatt Woodsmall’s Emotional Intelligence course, you’ll see why most people you encounter are emotionally retarded and how you can avoid being lumped in with them

Hey You,

It’s Lewis a.k.a. Nerd #2.

Do you want people to pay attention to you and respect what you say?

Do people in your life, nice and mean and in between, blow off your attempts to connect with them or help them?

Do you have a fear of people who get angry easily and shy away from them because you shut down and go inside when anger is directed at you?

Whether you responded “Yes,” or “No,” to those questions, my answer, is “Good.”

What I’m about to share with you about influencing people should’ve been taught to you when you were 5 years old and reinforced over and over again by anyone in your life who wished you success, but it wasn’t.

Yes, it’s that important.

Why? Because no one succeeds on their own. The term “Self-Made” is bullshit.

Even the most resourceful one-man online business operations among us aren’t truly “Made” by one man.

Someone else helped this person by creating all the technology they use. Someone helped them by harnessing the electricity and directing it to their home so they can use that technology. Someone took it upon themselves to go into the business of growing, packaging and shipping food so that it is easily accessible to sustain this person’s energy. A team of people created the applications and the computer they use in their work. Someone compiled a course based on them learning from others and made that available. An influential customer referred their business to their list. And on and on and on.

So now do you see what I mean by there is no such thing as “Self-Made”? Cool.   

Everyone needs help and the people who succeed in business on the highest level have a more resourceful people helping them not only reach but stay at the top than the average bear.

This could be friends, family, employees, partners, vendors, etc.

Now even the most talented people can fail to experience a life filled with abundance because they have far fewer resourceful people they can reach out to who respect them and are eager to join forces with them or extend support to them.

And the reason for this has nothing to do with one person having more money than the other. A person with a ton of money can get a lot done but if you believe you have to have money in order to get things done, you’ll never recover nor emerge from the place of having little to no money.  

The Invisible Force That Moves All Of Us To Action

The only reason I believe the majority of people do anything for anyone is to get a feeling that we treasure – security, approval, or control.

If there’s a homeless man pan handling by the parking lot entrance where my car is and I give him my left overs from my $79 Filet Mignon dinner I barely touched, I don’t do this because Santa Claus is watching me and knows when I’ve been naughty or nice. I do it so I can get a rush of happy feelings – approval of myself.

I don’t believe any act is selfless.

If you embrace this concept then you always factor into your interactions with other people knowing that their behavior is nothing but the result of them seeking emotions then you’ll have the house odds in your relationships.

As you’ll see explained below, a disconnect on this emotional level is one of the primary reasons you experience drama with people in your life. 

Almost no one knows how to control their emotions as my notes from Eben Pagan and Wyatt Woodsmall’s Advanced Learning and Teaching seminar explained in this post here, and what I’m about to reveal to you in notes I’ve taken on Wyatt’s Emotional Intelligence course is the next step towards you feeling awesome and in control of yourself which allows you to get the results you want with the help of others.

The First Step To Building An Army of People Who Have Your Back And Carry You To Power 

Emotions show up in your body in a certain sequence.

This is something most people don’t think about when it comes to emotions.

One way to look at this is the different levels of energy we experience. Most people believe their emotions are totally random and that they and others jump around from one emotion to the other.

But no one is random. We all go through a sequence of emotions and when you know the sequence, you can have a positive impact on even the most hard headed person you encounter.

There are various models centered around the personality. One is the Myers Briggs. Another is the Enneagram. The enneagram divides people into 9 different types whereas the Myers Briggs has 15 different types that are combos of 4 different broader types.

Where the enneagram goes beyond the other personality models out there is

Our emotions cycle through three different settings.

First, is the normal maintenance setting. This where you’re not low, you’re not high, you’re just cruising along. Most of our time is spent here.

Second, is the stress setting. Stress makes you take on a different personality. You may have encountered someone before in a stressed state and thought to yourself, “How in the hell could she live with that guy?” Very common thought that I’m sure you’ve had. And she probably couldn’t if “stress” was this guy’s “normal” setting. Hardly anyone has a positive behavior shift when stress arrives.

Third, is total relaxation and comfort setting. This is a place where we can be intimate with ourselves or another person and let our guards down and in this setting our behavior will totally shift.

Some people will try to tell you that they behave the same way all the time and this is just idiotic.

You always have to factor in context. The context to be taken account of is how you behave under stress, how you behave normally, and how do you behave under conditions of intimacy where you’re completely at ease and comfortable.

Now when it comes to emotions, there’s what Wyatt calls an Emotional Tone Scale.

The Acute Tone is where you are in the moment and this is continually shifting.

The Chronic Tone is what feels normal to you and where you operate from most of the time.

The Social Tone is where you’re putting on a show in social settings because you don’t believe people would like seeing the asshole you are in your Chronic Tone so you hide it. And this can also be where you’re in a social setting where you’re so relaxed where you act different.

So you’ve got the tone of where someone is in the moment, where they are most of the time on their own and where they are when they get into costume and go out into public.

And of course on this emotional tone scale we move up and down it from where we normally are as we get excited and stressed.

So with this emotional tone scale you’ve got the middle and you can think of above the middle as positive and below the middle as negative and people are at different places on this at all times.

BIG FUCKING SUBHEAD HERE INTRODUCING 16 POINT SCALE

This emotional tone scale that Wyatt has adapted from other

technologies ranges from Fear at the very bottom, and for practical purposes here we’ll cover to Enthusiasmnear the top.

Another way he looks at his scale is that things above the neutral (2.5) give you energy and things below neutral drain you of energy.

Now here’s a quick break down of the traits of each level on Wyatt’s scale . . .

BOREDOM (2.5 NEUTRAL):

This is where people are  spectators looking at the world from the bleachers. In this emotion you’re neither content nor discontent. In this place people simply endure things. People who are bored are not threatening but they’re not helpful. Everything above this is positive, everything below it is negative.

CONTENTED (2.8):

This is where you’re satisfied with where you are in life. You’re not bored and neither are you enthusiastic.

MILD INTEREST (2.9)

This is where your mind is activated at a level of paying attention to a new idea that can move you towards enthusiasm.

CONSERVATISM (3.0)

Consider this a medium level of interest.

STRONG INTEREST (3.3)

This is where excitement starts churning.

CHEERFULNESS (3.5)

This is where anyone who sees you can tell you’re happy.

ENTHUSIASM (4.0)

This is where you embrace flexibility.

The Dark Side of The Scale

APATHY:

This is the place where you don’t give a shit. This is one stage removed from death. This is the state of mind a person is in when they commit suicide. This is also where people submit and die for example in the instance of having a disease or facing some kind of traumatic injury and the circumstances deliver them to death. Alcoholics, gamblers, and fatalists can all be found dwelling in this state of mind. They have enthusiasm for things that are killing them and they’re fine with this.

GRIEF:

Grief is the next emotion up from apathy. This is where you experience a sense of loss. People in grief are easy to spot because they’re whining. They’re always talking about grievances and old issues. They dwell in the past. They feel betrayed. These people are living in the past – something that gave their life meaning is gone and so now they’re in grief.

SYMPATHY:

The next level above Grief is Sympathy. In this context, sympathy isn’t being channeled out of compassion or care but is passive. This is a place of being afraid to hurt other people – even if that’s what would help them most. This is a common trait of people who feel other people’s pain and they’re not strong enough or resourceful enough to help them.

FEAR:

This is a place of indecisiveness. This could be something concrete that you fear (you’ve been in a car accident and you can’t feel your legs) or an imagined fear (you believe you’ll die if you ride in a car). But fear is an emotion. Imagine what would happen if you could put fear and doubt out of your life. A person living in fear is living in reaction to whatever it is they’re afraid of. Their life is dictated by what they fear. These people are anxious cowards. They’re suspicious of everyone around them.

COVERT HOSTILITY:

This is the fearful hypocrite. On the surface this person appears to be your buddy. But out of a sense of fear they’re sticking knives into you back. This is the most dangerous place to be on the whole scale. The way these people deal with fear is by smiling in your face while sticking a knife into your back. One tell tale sign of a covertly hostile person is that they never accept responsibility and they always take credit for the accomplishments of others and they always find someone or something to blame for their shortcomings. These people like to bad mouth others behind their back which of course means they’ll bad mouth you behind your back. The reason people act this way is because they’re afraid of you or someone else and the way they cope with this is through covert hostility.

NO SYMPATHY:

I think of the Iceman Richard Kuklinski – the famed mafia hit man who claims to have killed over 100 people when I think of this state of mind. This person has repressed anger and their cruelty is calm, violent, resourceful and they are acidly polite. This person is unfeeling and dangerous.

ANGER:

People don’t hide anger well. This is expressed hostility. Fear is the source of anger. This could be residue of harsh childhood or a job they hate or a relationship that is painful or any number or other number of scenarios.

ANTAGONISM:

Now the next level up of anger is antagonism. Anger is usually can be applied broadly but when someone is antagonized it’s usually focused on something specific. People who are simply angry usually don’t know what they’re angry about.The antagonized person knows exactly what they’re angry about and they’re channeling the anger towards that object. 

We Have This List Now – So What?

How do we make use of this list when it comes to influencing others?

Well the first thing it helps with is understanding where you’re at and where they’re at. You need to understand that we have one of these places that is our Chronic tone and we have another we may slip into when in social situations.

Now in Daniel Goleman’s book, Social Intelligence, he points out the four things you’ve got to do if you want to be influential – You have understand yourself, you’ve got to control you behavior, you’ve got to understand other people, and you’ve got to be able to influence other people’s emotions.

How You Can Put A Person’s Attention In A Gentle But Secure Choke Hold

NLP has taught people that if you want to move people to a certain desired state, you use what’s called pacing and leading to do so.

The way you gain rapport with and then influence over someone is by meeting them in the state of mind where they are or coming in at – the emotional level where they are or the level immediately above where they are now.

The level above is the level that people respect and respond favorably to because they associate this with the other person having their shit together more than they do because they did this.

So you want to figure out where they are and come it at the next highest level in order to have the maximum positive impact.

But you have to beware coming in at the level below them, unless of course, you want them to drop down. And if you come in at a level that is two or more above where they’re at, you’ll be out of the zone that is comfortable for them to embrace and this will cause them to stay where they’re at or drop down a level.

Here’s an example of how this could play out in society . . .

A guy buys a box of large and in charge Magnum condoms and gets home and opens it to rip off a few to stuff into his pocket only to find out that they’re hard and when flexed, they snap. When he looks at the expiration date, he sees they’re 12 years past their expiration date.

He’s got a hot date in an hour and he still hasn’t even washed his ass yet. This puts him in an ANGRY state of mind.

So he rushes through putting himself together deciding that on his way to pick up his date, he’ll return the condoms to the liquor store and exchange them for a fresh pack.

He storms through the door of the store, condoms in hand, and rushes to the sexy time sexction. What he sees reignites him to the level of ANGER – all five of the boxes of Magnum condoms they have are also 12 years expired and all the rest of the condoms are only for small penises.

This leads him to just wanting to get his money back and leave because he’s already running late. So he goes to the counter to explain his situation and has to do so three times because the man behind the counter speaks almost no English.

When the merchant finally figures out what the man wants, he asks him for his receipt. Of course, no one asks for a receipt from a corner liquor store for a small purchase and when the merchant tells him he can’t give the man cash back for his crispy condoms without a receipt, he turns livid.

What response can the merchant give that will keep this man from yanking him across the counter?

When someone is angry, as weird as it may sound, they consider an appropriate response to be the other person being just as angry or angrier than they are.

If you’re sitting there all calm, Zen Buddhist-like or you’re there cowering, apologizing all over yourself, then you’re not on my level, and you don’t get me or what I’m going through BECAUSE IF YOU DID THEN YOU WOULD BE ANGRY TOO. This means that if you want influence this person you want to get angry with them, not at them.

When you do this, the other person unconsciously says to themselves, “EXACTLY!!! AN APPROPRIATE RESPONSE! THIS PERSON CARES ENOUGH TO GET ANGRY WITH ME! FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS LIKE I DO HOW SCREWED UP THINGS ARE!” and you get rapport with this person.  

One thing you also have to remember is that anger drains energy and has a short shelf life. You can only sustain anger for a short period of time. So after you two have ranted and raved, you’ll run out of steam and once this can lead to a resigned and calmer state like boredom where things be resolved.

So when a person is in Anger, ANTAGONISM is going to have the most influence over them. A person in an antagonistic state knows who to blame while the angry person is simply angry about the situation.

In the condom example, the merchant can say, “YEAH, THIS IS COMPLETELY WRONG! AND YOU KNOW WHO TO BLAME FOR THIS. OWNER OF STORE!!! HE A BASTARD AND WE NEED TO TALK TO HIM WHEN HE COME BACK IN MORNING!”

People in anger respect someone who knows the person at fault and is resourceful enough in the moment to calculate the next move to resolve the problem.

What About The Rest of The Scale?

The person in Apathy who feels dead inside can hear the person who interacts with them and can at least feel Grief, a sense of loss.

The person in Grief can respect someone who also is experiencing loss but can also keep others in mind enough to at least be Sympathetic.

A person who is in Sympathy who is reacting to the world can respect someone who is in Fear because they know of something out there in the world that we should be afraid of.

Now the person who’s in Fear looks at the Covert Hostile person and they can respect that this person is at least making the effort to do something to get back at those who make them feel Fear.

The Covert Hostile person can respect that the No Sympathy person is so aloof and uncaring about what others think that they don’t feel the need to be covert but can be ruthless and welcome having that reputation.

The No Sympathy person can respect an Angry person because  they’re not afraid to show what they’re feeling.

The people who are Angry can respect the person who is Antagonized because they know things are screwed up but the Antagonized person knows who the enemy is that is responsible for them feeling this way.

The Antagonized person can respect the Bored person who knows who’s to blame for how shitty things are but are not letting it get them all riled up because they’re above the drama.

The Bored person can respect the Content person because they at least have things together enough that they can feel satisfied with the way things are.

The person who is Content can respect the person who is Mildly Interested because they know something that’s helping them feel even more satisfaction than they do.

The person who is Mildly Interested in the Conservative person because they’re in the know about more than they are and experiencing more pleasure as a result of this.

The Conservative person can respect the Cheerful person because they must know something they don’t that allows them to feel this way.

And finally, the Cheerful person can respect the Enthusiastic person because they’ve found the ticket to nuggets of wisdom that are allowing them to be radiant.

How Can You Use This?

You’re going to meet people throughout your entire life who are on every spectrum of this scale.

The HUMONGAFIED takeaway to run with from what you’ve discovered here is that if you care at all to connect with someone and move them up to higher level, you can’t express an emotion that is far beyond where they are in the moment – your Apathetic sister wants nothing to do with you if you’re Mr. Enthusiasm.

You want to meet people in the ball park of the energy they’re experiencing WITH A RESOURCEFULL ANSWER.

If the Korean liquor store merchant in the example above met anger with an angry response like, “I’M GOING TO CALL THE COPS!” this only serves to fuel the fire and can lead to situation escalating to violence.

If someone is in APATHY and is suicidal and your response is an apathetic, “don’t do it,” that isn’t going to serve them.

How One Man Used The Emotional Tone Scale To Talk People Out Of Killing Themselves

Dr. Milton Erickson, the therapist who made clinical hypnosis acceptable in the eyes of his peers and the public was legendary for his ability to help people change their state of mind when no one else could.

How?

When people came to him for therapy, he used exactly what we’re talking about today. He met people where they were emotionally.

There’s one story of a kind of dumpy woman who came to him leaning heavily towards wanting to kill herself. So in the same physiology and tone of voice as she had used, he asked her how much money she had in the bank.

She told him there was something like $1,100 bucks in there. He told her that was good because now she could go spend all that money on giving herself a makeover – new clothes, new hair style, new make up, etc. He conveyed that if she was going to go out, she may well go out looking hot.

Then he asked about her love life and she expressed that her love life didn’t exist except for her fantasy of hooking up with a guy she worked with that she talked to at the water cooler.

So what he did next was teach her to squirt water between the gap in her front teeth and instructed her that the next time she saw her heart throb, she was to squirt him. What was there to be afraid of if she was going to be checking out anyway?

She took his advice and got sexified with a makeover and new clothes and she went to work. Around break time, she hid around the corner when she saw her crush coming she squirted him and he embraced this prank and chased her around and saw how much better she looked and how much more radiant her energy was when she felt as lovely as she did when she actually took the time to put herself together and this was the beginning of them starting a romantic relationship and eventually getting married.

If you look into Milton’s track record you’d see story after story like this. And he never used the same set of boiler plate instructions for anyone twice. Everything was always customized for that person’s situation with the intent of them conquering their challenge and being done with him as fast as possible.

Milton Erickson never argued with or tried to convince someone to do something against their will. He rolled with what people gave to him and then provided the baby step to them that would move them up the emotional scale that led to them eventually feeling like they were in control and proud of themselves.

He found a way to let the problem be the solution.

Of course Milton’s process was more elaborate than this in it’s entirety but this tactic was the back bone that made it possible for him to get rapport and opened up the door for him to implement anything else.

And now you have the power to start refining this skill of getting people you love and even strangers to help you get what you want.    

Become The Kind Of Person People Want To Spend Time With

With the range of emotions you can experience, it’s incredibly valuable to know how to meet people where they are and direct them to a better place.

Use what you’ve learned here today to mystify the people in your life who previously saw you in a different light but now marvel at how you’ve become the go-to guy, a Pied Piper of sorts who has an army of people who are going to battle for you everyday to keep you experiencing life the way you want to.

And then laugh as people talk shit about you being “lucky because things always fall into your lap,” knowing that while blessings from others may be falling onto you, luck has nothing to do with what you’ve done to change the way people respond to you.  

Talk soon,

Lewis LaLanne a.k.a. Note Taking Nerd #2 a.k.a. L.L. Cool Nerd

PS. If you’re interesting in some other inner game tweaks you can make that allow you go into “BEAST MODE”, you’ll definitely want to put your hands all over these personal improvement notes here <—–

Marketing Notes On The Lead Generation Strategy That Skyrocketed Eben Pagan To Massive Success

Leave a comment

Once upon a time no person buying or selling information marketing products knew of a man named Eben Pagan until he unleashed one of his small business marketing strategies on the market which led to all the internet marketing experts standing up to pay attention to what this man was doing

Hey You,

It’s Lewis a.k.a. Nerd #2.

Today I want to give you marketing notes on the process Eben Pagan used to come out of bum fuck nowhere and finesse his way into the hearts & minds of thousands of customers who all collectively shoved $20 million dollars a year into his pocket that he talked about at length in his Modern Marketing Mastery seminar.

What you’re about to see is the in-depth dissection of the move and mind set shift that Eben made that allowed him to divert millions of dollars that normally would’ve flowed into the bank accounts of the giants of the industry like Dan Kennedy and Jay Abraham, and channel them into his own.

If your lead generation sucks or you’d like to get it doing better than it is already doing, you definitely are in for a treat.

Now let the party begin with the line that Eben popularized which is . . .

Moving The Free Line:

The Free Line has to do with anything that you give to your prospects in an effort to allow them to get to know you.

Now what someone experiences in their first encounter with you can make or break your effort to win them over and get them into the cycle of climbing their way to the top of your product line which may look something like this . . .

0 – Free (free report or free info they can get on website…)

1 – Low price ($10)

2 – Upsell

3 – Sell something else ($50)

4 – Mid-price product ($100)

5 – Sell something else ($200)

6 – Sell something else ($300)

7 – Premium price product ($1000)

The idea of moving the free line is to take what they can get for free and move it down so that something someone would be used to paying $10 or $20 for, they can now get from you for free.

AND WHAT HAPPENS?

Your lead funnel opens up and you appeal to more people.

A lot more people will be interested in getting something for free that is very valuable vs. getting something for free that is nothing but a self-serving ad for you.

And to help this process easily pay for itself you can now include a $2500 product or a $5000 product.

So you start out of the gate giving away a massive amount of value. Enough of a value that people want to tell other people about it. Whatever something is worth, you can find a way to translate the value and give it away.

You can move the free line and give your prospective customer a bunch of the value UPFRONT and doing this holds you to a higher marketing standard.

IF YOU DON’T DO THIS NOW, SOMEONE ELSE WILL.

You need to give enough away so people go ‘WOW, you are the best’ because the best rise to the top.

Striving for this reaction forces you to make sure the free stuff they get is awesome. It subtly says ‘we got the goods, wanna try em out? Here you go’

So one thing Eben did that you can do too is put together a quiz designed to be genuinely helpful – NOT JUST TO GET THE FUCKING NAME AND EMAIL.

You personally go in, make all the questions, the answers, and for each answer you write a separate piece of advice so that ‘now that I know everything about you’ you click the button and the machine dynamically writes you a 5-page report full of valuable business advice you can use CAUSE THEM TO READ AND GO ‘WAIT A MINUTE, THIS IS STUFF NO ONE HAS EVER ASKED ME BEFORE, THERE’S SOME VALUABLE STUFF IN THERE’ AND THEY START USING IT.

And when a person sees how they could implement something, or they actually do go out and implement it and make money with it, this person is going to be open to being a potential customer, especially if it doesn’t take long to make a couple thousand dollars and it can instantly give you results from a little tweak or allow you to hire just the right person and free up half your time, etc.

Here’s the hint: when moving the free line, LEAD WITH YOUR VERY BEST STUFF

Because the customer out there doesn’t like us, trust us, and they hate to feel like we’re forcing stuff down their throats, or feeling they’ll be stuck with it and that they’ve made a bad decision and be embarrassed to tell their family and spouse that they blew their money on this thing that didn’t work out – yet again. THEY DON’T WANT THAT.

And giving them a throw away crumb and saying ‘take it and come back with money’ – that doesn’t fly.

If the first thing you see or watch is okay, will you assume the stuff behind the curtain is better or worse? You’ll think all the stuff is ‘just okay’.

If you come to the website and it’s really profound and impactful and you go ‘Oh, I know what to go do with this’ and you go do something different as a result of it and go to immediately put it into action it’s so good – are you going to assume the rest of the stuff behind the curtain is better or worse?

Holding back the good stuff prevents you from having a lot of success.

Is it worth it to give $100,000 worth of stuff away in order to launch a business that could be around a long time?

People don’t come to you because you give okay stuff away – they come because they went ‘oooh that’s cool, and if you’re giving that away, how cool must the stuff I pay for be?’

Think like customers a little more. It’s all about what’s going on in their mind:

Where they’re coming from . . .

What their needs are . . . 

What’s that fear/frustration?

What’s that driving motivator that they have?

What’s going on for them?

And how does that connect to the thing we’re giving them that’s the first step to delivering them to the promised land, to deliver the result, the outcome, the benefit that they want?

FROM THERE – what is one thing you know, you have in your head, or a product, a service, something you could give away, deliver at a very very low cost, en mass that has HIGH percieved value, $20 $50 $100 or more, that if you gave that thing away to your prospect would make them go ‘Whoooah this is incredibly valuable’.

It might be an idea. It might be a technique. If you’re a real estate salesman it might be a negotiating technique you’ve learned over the years. It might be a way of pricing homes.

This is something you don’t share, but with your best customers.

What is that thing you figured out that is your gem, that is your magic bullet, the thing you figured out, that you could make into a product, a download, a video, something you could deliver en mass?

How could you package it so it could be delivered en mass at a very low cost?

Write down 3-5 ideas that come to mind.

You want to be unconsciously communicating, "I have something to bring you" not, "I’m taking something away".

Your free line piece is your initial offer. That’s where to start.

You want to build your marketing documents around that as that foundation. You line up the beginning, middle, and end around THAT offer. This will allow you to build something that will be valuable to your customers.

Give a technique that works when worked, and that for the person who won’t take action, can see it making common sense how it would easily work if they’d get off their ass and use it.

Then, hint that there’s a deeper level and if they want to master it, to check out more of your stuff. This is a process that serves as the passport that gets you past the Berlin wall that is their skepticism.

Here’s What Screws The Free Line Process Up For The Majority of People

A big breakthrough comes when you realize you are kind of out of control of your mind.

You think you control your mind, but it’s all an illusion.

Your mind is just doing the same thing all the time over and over again and you get into different situations and it triggers something, you talk to your mom and it triggers this other thing, and other things and you’re kind of like this ping pong ball.

And instead of fighting it and feeling like YOU GOT TO GET CONTROL – just relax and watch it happen.

When you do this you start to see all these things you never saw before…

Someone will cut you off in traffic and you spend the next five minutes formulating this master scheme of exactly how you’re going to cut them off up ahead and exactly how it’s going to happen and where and you know who’s probably driving the car and the look that’s going to be on their face when you masterfully cut them off and you revel in how they’re going to realize they did it to you and they got what they deserved and they’re going to go home and feel bad about it …

And then hopefully you snap of it and wake the fuck up and tell yourself, ‘*GASP* What the hell are you doing you psycho?‘ That’s a gift.

Whenever you go on autopilot on anything, try to notice what happens when you’re on autopilot.

Most people go into denial on autopilot and rationalize it and justify it and say they’re right. But you should be fascinated with it, anything that pushes one of your buttons, and once you’re fascinated about it you start talking about it and it makes people nervous because they don’t want to know what’s going on in there ‘no no please keep the box closed’ BUT this is your first step to beginning to be able to listen to other people. Really listen. Not just pretend listening.

The kind of listening where you can hear when someone is communicating what they’re REALLY saying.

You start realizing we’re not around a group of civilized rational creatures that have totally locked down all of their negative emotions and their "automatic robot chimp behavior", and there’s a lot going on in there.

We the people have irrational fears and irrational fantasies and irrational motivations.

This does NOT mean we’re wrong or bad or evil or screwed up.

WE ARE ALL DOING THIS ALL THE TIME. THAT IS THE RULE. WE LOVE TO COME UP WITH A LOGICAL EXPLANATION AND STEP BY STEP FORMULA FOR WHY WE DO PSYCHO-COUNTERPRODUCTIVE THINGS. BUT THAT IS NOT WHY IT HAPPENED AT AAAAAALL.

Forget about the logic.

The logic is irrelevant, because the decision making process going on inside of the head of the human you’re going to be talking to has NOTHING to do with logic.

Logic might come up at the end to rationalize the purchase but that’s not what it’s about at all.

You want to know all the irrational stuff. And we all make irrational fantasies and movies and ideas, that’s what we’re doing all the time, and that’s what is driving and motivating.

So when you know that, then you can start asking people questions and know what’s REALLY going on.

You can start saying things like ‘oh cute bag’ and instead of hearing the other person say ‘oh yea I got it on sale at blah blah’, you can start asking questions that allow the other person to share a little bit about why they REALLY bought it. You open up the space.

And you say ‘Why did you really buy that? Is it because of X?’ And a little window will open up and they’ll go ‘*HOLY SHEEP SHIT* someone else is like me and crazy too and I can share it’

So when you’re open to it you can go through the world and get people to open up just a little more, give you a little more insight, and then you can talk to what’s REALLY going on.

"The reason you’re struggling with it is because you’re thinking of it from your perspective, not thinking from inside the head of your customer" – in terms of coming from inside your own head of how you’re different from your competitors.

WHAT IS DIFFERENT TO THEM? Stop thinking from inside your head, and go out there and ask "What’s important to them?"

Instead of differentiation, a better strategy is to START DIFFERENT. Start different so you don’t need to go through differentiation. You’re already different.

In any market, category, segment, there is a large group of individual humans that have a problem, frustration, pain, a desire, a need, a passion that is not being addressed by all of the companies, products and options that they are aware of.

Some element is not being addressed as the market would like it to be. THIS OCCURS IN ANY SIZABLE MARKET.

And that is a place where you can start different, because if you deliver that result, that outcome, and you’re the first one to do it IN THEIR MIND, you have now started different so you don’t need to differentiate yourself.

STOP THINKING FROM INSIDE YOUR HEAD AND NOT FROM THE HEAD OF THE CUSTOMER.

This is not an easy thing to do, to shut all your stuff down and say ‘What would be going on inside of me if I was a customer’ to simulate another person.

THIS IS ONE OF THE KEYS TO SUCCESS IN LIFE. TO GET INSIDE OF THE OTHER PERSON’S HEAD.

There’s always something people want or a way they want it that they don’t know is available. You can use this to differentiate in a lot of different ways.

Making Free Line Content Work For You

When considering how you’re going to use free line content, it’s important to remember that you got a business to run and got to have the math and strategy make sense, but the critical communication with free line is this idea that YOU’RE DEALING WITH INDIVIDUAL HUMANS – NOT MACHINES WITH DOLLAR BILLS MAKING ALL THEIR RATIONAL DECISIONS BASED ON ROI ETC THESE ARE PEOPLE.

And if you build a relationship with them and trust, they will tend to want to give you more of their money in exchange for what it is that you have.

So a major part of the free line is building relationship, building trust. 

THE FORMAT DOESN’T MATTER AS MUCH AS YOU GETTTING YOUR BEST THING FROM YOUR STUFF/MIND INTO THE EXPERIENCE OF THE PROSPECT –

Your goal is to have them feel, ‘This is the real deal, this is something that actually works’ These guys aren’t messing around, this stuff really happens, this is not just for ______, this is for me!"

THAT is the experience you want to have your prospects have when you move the free line. You could open your business up and say ‘everything’s free!’ but, that may mess your business up.

QUICK FIXES TO GET THEM “EXPERIENCING”

Give them a test that has them an experience a “hit” of what you have to offer.

Marvelously designed “pre-consultation” questionnaires can work wonders in helping you to appear to be brilliant and help them see what possibilities you open up for them. 

You want something that quickly gives them the experience of being in the hands of a fucking master.

AND IT’S BETTER FOR YOU IF THE ‘TASTE’ YOU GIVE THEM ONLY LASTS 3 MINUTES

So you’d say something like, "Here, try this, we’re going to __(alter your brain chemistry with this simple experiment)____, do ____(this breathing exercise, watch this video do it along with me)_______, how do you feel? Well, if you feel better now, wouldn’t it be a safe assumption that you could probably be feeling better ALL THE TIME? Unfortunately you can’t be doing ___(that breathing exercise all the time)____ BUT you can ___(take one of our tests)___ and if you ___(take the test)___, we’re going to tell you what you need so you can feel like that all the time"

FIND SOMETHING THAT DOES THIS! FOR CHRIST SAKES, IT’S SO SIMPLE.

You can find SOMETHING to give a version of ‘give someone something to change their brain chemistry at home’.

SAVE YOURSELF FROM SHITTY FREE LINE CONVERSIONS BY FOCUSING ON ONE-DECISION MARKETING

Unless you’re advanced and sophisticated and can design more complex lead generation funnels, START WITH ONE DECISION AT A TIME.

Make it so the prospect only has 1 decision to make.

Here’s a good decision: "Are you going to put your name and email in the box or are you going to leave?" That’s it. There isn’t anywhere else to go, you can’t do anything else.

That’s it. 1 decision.

Then the next decision might be "Are you going to buy the product or are you not going to buy the product?"

At any stage there’s 1 decision.

Then you can introduce others once you find something that works. It needs to be a laser beam that whacks you between the eyes and goes "ooh! I’ve been looking for this my whole life, I have to take action now."

Focus On Only One Version of Your Perfect Prospect In Your Free Line Content

TALK TO ONE AVATAR AT A TIME THAT CONVERTS THE BEST:

You could drive yourself crazy trying to get it just right for everyone.

If you have a business that sells snowboards to extreme snowboarders, but also as it turns out you have another business that sells snowboards to other wholesale companies you can speak to both of these prospects without confusing the message by telling your story and convincing a snowboarder that you reign supreme because you carve the snowboards back in the shed the way granddad used to do it and maybe you apply 27 coats of imported something handmade by child laborers and all the other stuff you build into it. You can say on your website ‘Let me tell you the story of how I came to build the best extreme snowboards in the world’ and you tell your story and then when you get to the part about how you build them now you might put in parenthesis (By the way, if you own a snowboard shop and you’d like to know how to carry our line click here)"

And you’ve woven that signal and everyone who owns a snowboard shop will be reading that and be fascinated more than the average customer and will see it and click on it, all without derailing the extreme snowboarders who can easily continue reading.

SO YOU CAN COMMUNICATE YOUR MESSAGE TO THE PEOPLE YOU NEED TO COMMUNICATE WITH WITHIN YOUR COMMUNICATION AS LONG AS YOU’RE GETTING YOUR WHOLE MESSAGE ACROSS IN A WAY THAT’S NOT DISRUPTIVE.

Offer People What They Want, Not What You Deliver

PERSONAL TRAINING: Does the person want training – or exercise plans? Or do they want the result of feeling sexier in the eyes of other people and actually being able to move without feeling clunky and clumsy?

You know the answer.

Do People Want Low Borrowing Rates?

People are not really looking for a low rate. They’re trying to buy a home, they’re trying to set up their life, they’re trying to start a family, they’re trying to settle down, they’re trying to set themselves up for long term security.

So to get off the rate thing and onto what they’re really looking for you start by saying "before we talk about your mortgage, let’s talk about something more important, let’s talk about the big picture of your financial life, let me show you a couple of techniques that are going to make this process about a 1,000 times easier and profitable than it is for the majority of people…"

Then you walk them through a set of techniques and give them some literature on how they could pay off their mortgage in less than half the time by paying 16% more on their mortgage payment, and show them how instead of buying a new car now, how they can save on payments by buying used cars for cash and show them how they could get out of debt in 2-3 years, walking them through this whole process and then say…

"Now, when we work together what I want for you is to be completely out of debt, I want you to have your home paid off, I want you to be driving cars you own outright, I want you to be financially set and secure – so when we move you up to this next home, that’s part of a bigger plan, and if you follow just SOME of the things I’ve given you here, this right here will probably be worth about $300k-$400k to you based on the kind of home you want to buy…"

YOU FOLLOW THIS?

So when it gets time to actually talk about the mortgage rate "you know, you’re gonna find when you go to lenders, the rates we’re all a little bit different, you know we’re in there we’re competitive, some lenders eh, you know they might tell you a story but when you get to the closing table it doesn’t really work out, you can go use them if you want, but I recommend that you work with me cause when you work with me you’re going to come in here every 6 months, we’re going to do a review, we’re going to figure out how much your home is worth, we’re going to make a decision about whether you should refi, we’re going to update your financial plan"

ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME ON THIS – IT’S NOT ABOUT THE MORTGAGE RATE LIKE IT’S NOT THERE. You haven’t quoted them your range like most people do – as low as 4%. Instead, you’re introducing the prospect to something that is a complete game changer.

Conclusion:

So if you want your Free Line content to make an impact you have to . . .

TAKE THE PERSPECTIVE OF A CUSTOMER, THINK LIKE A CUSTOMER.

IMAGINE WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE IN THEIR SHOES, PUT YOURSELF IN THAT PLACE, IMAGINE THE EMOTIONS THEY’RE FEELING, IMAGINE THE FEARS AND FANTASIES THAT’RE COMING UP FOR THEM.

This will allow you to design marketing that amplifies the message and communicates explicitly clear to your prospect that they’ve arrived at the right place – the hunt is over.

And when your perfect prospect sell themselves on this, you’re selling gets about 1,000 times easier.

Now take these guidelines and put them against what you’re currently using to bring new prospects under your protection and if it isn’t potent enough to convince them you’re their savior, change it for the better using what you’ve discovered here.

Talk soon,

Lewis LaLanne a.k.a. Note Taking Nerd #2 a.k.a. L.L. Cool Nerd

PS. This is major part of the lead generation process but if you want to go deeper and discover the internet marketing expert Eben Pagan’s process for optimizing your lead generation conversions, you definitely want to put your hands all over these notes on his high end Live Conversion Summit by clicking here now <—–

The Argument For Writing “Non-Pussy” Advertisements

2 Comments

Red-Haired Rocker Puts Together An Advertisement That Is Better Than 95% of Madison Avenue Professionals Could Come Up With! See How To Write a Salesletter Using His Non-Pussy Strategy

Hey you,

It’s Lewis a.k.a. Nerd #2.

So I’m cruising Facebook the other day and I see this headline on one of L.A. Weekly’s updates . . .

“The Craigslist “Non-Pussy” Drummer Is a Phenomenon”

OF COURSE I had to click on that link. And this advertising magnificence proceeded to fill my screen . . .

Real Rock Drummer for NON-pussy band (L.A.)

Date: 2012-05-25, 12:28AM PDT

Reply to: wfqrc-3036860974@comm.craigslist.org

I do NOT play click track or backing tracks and GO SCREW if you think I’m gonna “tone it down a little, bro” so you can piddle away on your stringed sissy box. I WILL NOT play hotel café and don’t take direction from ninnies who live in their fucking parents basement and whack off to dreams of hanging out with Jack Johnson and rapping about his “process”, you piece of shit. I am a real mother fucker with balls of steel and have a drum set that loves to be ass fucked mercilessly from behind and I need to join a band who understands that stage-sex is part of the fucking game, dude. So when I’m fucking the shit outta the kit, you can’t be the guy in corner beating your limp taffy dick wishing that you could stick your dick in too, NO! You get that dick hard and fuck the stage with me, pussy boy. I’m so sick of stealing the show and would really love to meet some real sons of fucking bitches who aren’t afraid to use a sweat band for its intended purpose: wiping off fucking sweat, cum, groupies, pussy juice, blood, etc.

Do not write me for reasons of sass because I will FIND YOU and shred your fucking face with my SHIT-STORMING DRUM GODLINESS!

And boy am I glad clicked on that link because now I get to talk to you about one of the key elements of a NON-pussy advertisement that can skyrocket the response rate of any kind of advertising -even a church’s.

One thing I have to point out is that if you think the reason this ad is NON-pussy is because it uses curse words and sexual references, you’re COMPLETELY wrong and you’re MISSING the magic it has to offer you. The swearing and sexual innuendo is just a cherry on top and only one of the four elements of the magnificence that drove this ad to become a phenomenon.

We can both agree that this isn’t Shakespearian prose but guess what?

More

The Case For How Your Beliefs About Sex Can Sabotage Your Business

2 Comments

Hey You,

It’s Lewis a.k.a. Nerd #2.

Bad romance equals bad business.

Over. Period. Done. I don’t care who you are. 

If you’re romantically involved with someone and things are going shitty and you’re avoiding issues and shoving them deep down hoping you never have to face them and closing down as a result of your thoughts about this person or . . . 

If you don’t hide your feelings and you’re at the other end of the spectrum exploding all over in rage at this other person, teetering right on the edge of giving yourself a heart attack because you’ve driven your blood pressure so high . . .

. . . you’re not gonna be performing in the office at a peak level.

Yeah, you can probably get through the motions and hell, you might even be making money.

But operating this way is akin to having a piece of shit car that you have to put oil and power steering fluid into it every other day because both are leaking all over the engine causing your car to blow out a thick cloud of white smoke every time you hit the gas… and put air in the front driver side tire every few days because there’s a screw in the side wall causing a slow leak that can’t be patched and you can’t even afford to buy a used tire… and is in need of brakes and rotors on all four wheels.

Yeah, you can say you have a car but it ain’t much of a car. It’s a time and energy drain and you aren’t proud to let anyone see you in it and you lust after something much better.

Ever had a relationship that had included all of those winning traits?

Most people’s marriages are like people who drive a piece of shit car: They hate being in it, they want something better, and they can’t afford to get out it. 

When the bank account is empty you’re stuck with your piece of shit car that serves as potential death trap. When your mental bank account comes up with zero answers for your relationship problems you end up stuck with someone you don’t want to be with in an emotional death trap.  

The majority of people go through life riding in once-upon-a-time romantic relationship or with no intimate connection with anyone at all.

And the reason they do so is because they blindly adhere to the bill of goods sold to them by the Six P’s: their parents, their preachers, the press, their professors, the police, and the politicians who steer them towards the plan they have for them.

I say, “Fuck The 6 P’s Commands To Blindly Obey!”

As Jim Rohn said, “If you don’t design your own life plan, you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And what do they have planned for you? Not much.”

Once you read what I’m about to share with you, I believe you’ll find that what 95% of the people within the 6 P’s have planned for you is pain or worse . . . the zombie state of mind; apathy.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Just as there are people like Richard Branson who break the rules and wildly succeed in business on the back of renegade marketing, selling, and management strategies and tactics . . . there are people breaking the romance rules and experiencing enlightened love, joy, and peace of mind as a result of doing so.

Quit Fearing The Sexual Beast In You

The fascinating and thought provoking book I’m introducing you today asks you to think.

Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality

– Published by Harper Collins  – Written by Christopher Ryan, PhD, and Cacilda Jetha, MD

questions what the 6 P’s want you to believe to be true about your sexual drive.

It’s loaded to the gills with example after example of proof that the majority has their head up their ass when it comes to what we “should” do, “how” we should do it, and “where” we should do stuff with our genitals and “Why” we do it.

What I’ve done is painstakingly typed out the entire introduction of this which serves an outstanding presell overview of what the book is about and what you can get out of it.

I’m going to tell you right now, if you can’t step out of your comfort zone for 10 minutes of your life to look at another perspective, just stop reading now. Stop.

One of the hardest things to get and give is useful, accurate, and meaningful feedback. This book gives you the feedback of a shit-ton of research that they don’t want you to see.

We don’t like to ask for feedback, we don’t like to be criticized, we don’t like to criticize others because then they think we think we’re better than them.

But the most valuable feedback disproves your cherished beliefs. We don’t learn anything from the fart-stained cushions of our comfort zone. Nor from our successes because success usually makes us comfortable and overconfident and this is the place where you get blindsided.

So if your ass cheeks cling desperately to your fart-stained cushion called your comfort zone just go over to YouTube and distract yourself from reality by watching videos of cats high on pain killers.

But if you’re a questioning authority-type, you’re going to feel right at home reading about what has been nothing but . . .

Another Well- Intentioned Inquisition

Forget what you’ve heard about human beings having descended from the apes.

We didn’t descend from apes. We are apes. Metaphorically and factually, Homo sapiens is one of the five surviving species of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans (gibbons are considered a “lesser ape”).

We shared a common ancestor with two of these apes – bonobos and chimps – just five million years ago. That’s “the day before yesterday” in evolutionary terms.

The fine print distinguishing humans from the other great apes is regarded as “wholly artificial” by most primatologists these days.

If we’re “above” nature, it’s only in the sense that a shaky-legged surfer is “above” the ocean. Even if we never slip (and we all do), our inner nature can pull us under at any moment.

Those of us raised in the West have been assured that we humans are special, unique among living things, above and beyond the world around us, exempt from the humilities and humiliations that pervade and define animal life.

The natural world lies below and beneath us, a cause for shame, disgust, or alarm; something smelly and messy to be hidden behind closed doors, drawn curtains, and minty freshness.

Or we overcompensate and imagine nature floating angelically in soft focus up above, innocent, noble, balanced, and wise.

Like bonobos and chimps, we are the randy descendants of hypersexual ancestors. At first blush, this may seem an overstatement, but it’s a truth that should have become common knowledge long ago.

Conventional notions of monogamous, till-death-do-us-part marriage strain under the dead weight of a false narrative that insists we’re something else.

What is the essence of human sexuality and how did it get to be that way?

In the following pages, we’ll explain how seismic cultural shifts that began about ten thousand years ago rendered the true story of human sexuality so subversive and threatening that for centuries it has been silenced by religious authorities, pathologized by physicians, studiously ignored by scientists, and covered up by moralizing therapists.

Deep conflicts rage at the heart of modern sexuality.

Our cultivated ignorance is devastating. The campaign to obscure the true nature or our species’ sexuality leaves half our marriages collapsing under an unstoppable tide of swirling sexual frustration, libido-killing boredom, impulsive betrayal, dysfunction, confusion, and shame.

Serial monogamy stretches before (and behind) many of us like an archipelago of failure: isolated islands of transitory happiness in a cold, dark sea of disappointment.

And how many of the couples who manage to stay together for the long haul have done so by resigning themselves to sacrificing their eroticism on the alter of three of life’s irreplaceable joys: family stability, companionship, and emotional, if not sexual, intimacy?

Are those who innocently aspire to these joys cursed by nature to preside over the slow strangulation of their partner’s libido?

The Spanish word esposas means both “wives” and “handcuffs.” In English, some men ruefully joke about the ball and chain. There’s good reason marriage is often depicted and mourned as the beginning of the end of a man’s sexual life.

And women fare no better. Who wants to share her life with a man who feels trapped and diminished by his love for her, whose honor marks the limits of his freedom? Who wants to spend her life apologizing for being just one woman?

Yes, something is seriously wrong.

The American Medical Association reports that some 42 percent of American women suffer from sexual dysfunction, while Viagra breaks sales records year after year.

Worldwide, pornography is reported to rake in anywhere from fifty-seven billion to a hundred billion dollars annually. In the United States, it generates more revenue than CBS, NBC, and ABC combined and more than all professional football, baseball, and basketball franchises.

According to U.S. News and World Report, “Americans spend more money at strip clubs than at Broadway, off-Broadway, regional and nonprofit theaters, the opera, the ballet and jazz and classical music performances – combined.”

There’s no denying that we’re a species with a sweet tooth for sex.

Meanwhile, so-called traditional marriage appears to be under assault from all sides – as it collapses from within. Even the most ardent defenders of normal sexuality buckle under its weight, as never-ending bipartisan perp-walks of politicians (Clinton, Vitter, Gingrich, Craig, Foley, Spitzer, Sanford) and religious figures (Haggard, Swaggert, Bakker) trumpet their support of family values before slinking off to private assignations with lover, prostitutes, and interns.

Denial hasn’t worked.

Hundreds of Catholic priests have confessed to thousands of sex crimes against children in the past few decades alone.

In 2008, the Catholic Church paid $436 million in compensation for sexual abuse. More than a fifth of the victims were under ten years old. This we know. Dare we even imagine the suffering such crimes have caused in the seventeen centuries since a sexual life was perversely forbidden to priests in the earliest known papal decree: the Decreta and Cum in unum of Pope Siricius?

What is the moral debt owed to the forgotten victims of this misguided rejection of basic human sexuality?

On threat of torture, in 1633, the Inquisition of the Roman Catholic Church forced Galileo to state publicly what we knew to be false: that the Earth sat immobile at the center of the universe. Three and a half centuries later in 1992, Pope John Paul II admitted that the scientist had been right all along, but that the Inquisition had been “well-intentioned.”

Well, there’s no Inquisition like a well-intentioned Inquisition!

Like those childishly intransigent visions of an entire universe spinning around an all-important Earth, the standard narrative of prehistory offers an immediate, primitive sort of comfort.

Just as pope after pope dismissed any cosmology that removed humankind from the exalted center of the endless expanse of space, just as Darwin was (and, in some crowds, still is) ridiculed for recognizing that human beings are the creation of natural laws, many scientists are blinded by their emotional resistance to any account of human sexual evolution that doesn’t revolve around the monogamous nuclear family unit.

Although we’re led to believe we live in times of sexual liberation, contemporary human sexuality throbs with obvious, painful truths that must not be spoken aloud.

The conflict between what we’re told we feel and what we really feel may be the richest source of confusion, dissatisfaction, and unnecessary suffering of our time.

The answers normally proffered don’t answer the questions at the heart of our erotic lives:

Why are men and women so different in our desires, fantasies, responses, and sexual behavior?

Why are we betraying and divorcing each other at ever increasing rates when not opting out of marriage entirely?

Why the pandemic spread of single-parent families?

Why does the passion evaporate from so many marriages so quickly?

What causes the death of desire?

Having evolved together right here on Earth, why do so many men and women resonate wit the idea that we may as well be from different planets?

Oriented toward medicine and business, American society has responded to this ongoing crisis by developing a marital-industrial complex of couples therapy, pharmaceutical hard-0ns, sex-advice columnists, creepy father-daughter purity cults, and endless stream of inbox come-ons (“Unleash your LoveMonster! She’ll thank you!”). Every month, truckloads of glossy supermarket magazines offer the same old tricks to get the spark back into our moribund sex lives.

Ye, a few candles here, some crotchless panties there, toss a handful of rose petals on the bed and it’ll be just like the very first time!

What’s that you say? He’s still checking out other women? She still got an air of detached disappointment? He’s finished before you’ve begun?

Well, then, let the experts figure out what ails you, your partner, your relationship. Perhaps his penis needs enlarging or her vagina needs a retrofit. Maybe he has “commitment issues,” a “fragmentary superego,” or the dreaded “Peter Pan complex.”

Are you depressed? You say you love your spouse of a dozen years but don’t feel sexually attracted the way you used to? One or both of you are tempted by another?

Maybe you two should try doing it in the kitchen floor. Or force yourself to do it every night for a year. Maybe he’s going through a midlife crisis. Take these pills. Get a new hairstyle. Something must be wrong with you.

Ever feel like the victim of a well-intentioned Inquisition?

This split-personality relationship with our true sexual nature is anything but news to entertainment corporations, who have long reflected the same fractured sensibility between public pronouncement and private desire.

In 2000, under the headline “Wall Street Meets Pornography,” The New York Times reported that General Motors sold more graphic sex films than Larry Flynt, owner of the Hustler empire.

Over eight million American subscribers to DirecTV, a General Motors subsidiary, were spending about $200 million a year on pay-per-view sex films from satellite providers.

Similarly, Rupert Murdoch, owner of the Fox News Network and the nation’s leading conservative newspaper, The Wall Street Journal, was pulling in more porn money through a satellite company than Playboy made with its magazine, cable, and internet business COMBINED.

AT&T, also a supporter of conservative values, sells hard-core porn to over a million hotel rooms throughout the country via its Hot Network.

The frantic sexual hypocrisy in America is inexplicable if we adhere to traditional models of human sexuality insisting that monogamy is natural, marriage is a human universal, and any family structure other than the nuclear is aberrant.

We need a new understanding of ourselves, based not on pulpit proclamations or feel-good Hollywood fantasies, but on bold and unashamed assessment of the plentiful scientific data that illuminate the true origins and nature of human sexuality.

We are war with our eroticism. We battle our hungers, expectations, and disappointments.

Religion, politics, and even science square off against biology and millions of years of evolved appetites. How to defuse this intractable struggle?

In the following pages, we reassess some of the most important science of our time. We question the deepest assumptions brought to contemporary views of marriage, family structure, and sexuality – issues affecting each of us every day and every night.

We’ll show that human beings evolved in intimate groups where almost everything was shared – food, shelter, protection, child care, even sexual pleasure.

Se don’t argue that humans are natural-born Marxist hippies. Nor do we hold that romantic love was unknown or unimportant in prehistoric communities.

But we’ll demonstrate that contemporary culture misrepresents the link between love and sex. With and without love, a casual sexuality was the norm for our prehistoric ancestors.

Let’s address the question you’re probably asking: how can we possibly know anything about sex in prehistory? Nobody alive today was there to witness prehistoric life, and since social behavior leaves no fossils, isn’t this all just wild speculation?

Not quite.

There’s an old story about the trial of a man charged with biting off another man’s finger in a fight. An eyewitness took the stand. The defense attorney asked, “Did you actually see my client bite off the finger?” The witness said, “Well, no, I didn’t.” “Aha!’ said the attorney with a smug smile. “How then can you claim he bit off the man’s finger?” “Well,” replied the witness, “I saw him spit it out.”

In addition to a great deal of circumstantial evidence from societies around the world and closely related nonhuman primates, we’ll take a look at some of what evolution has spit out.

We’ll examine the anatomical evidence still evident in our bodies and the yearning for sexual novelty expressed in our pornography, advertising, and after-work happy hours.

We’ll even decode messages in the so-called “copulatory vocalizations” of thy neighbor’s wife as he calls out ecstatically in the still of the night.

Readers acquainted with the recent literature on human sexuality will be familiar with what we call the standard narrative of human sexual evolution (hereafter shortened to “the standard narrative”).

It goes something like this:

1. Boy meets girl.

2. Boy and girl assess one another’s mate value from perspectives based upon their differing reproductive agendas/capacities:

  • He looks for signs of youth, fertility, health, absence of previous sexual experience, and likelihood of future sexual fidelity. In other words, his assessment is skewed toward finding a fertile, healthy young mate with many childbearing years ahead and no current children to drain his resources.
  • She looks for signs of wealth (or at least prospects of future wealth), social status, physical health, and likelihood that he will stick around to protect and provide for their children. Her guy must be willing and able to provide materially for her (especially during pregnancy and breastfeeding) and their children (known as male parental investment).

3. Boy gets girl: assuming they meet one another’s criteria, they “mate,” forming a long-term pair bond – the “fundamental condition of the human species,” as famed author Desmond Morris put it. Once the pair bond is formed:

  • She will be sensitive to indications that he is considering leaving (vigilant toward signs of infidelity involving intimacy with other women that would threaten her access to his resources and protection) – while keeping an eye out (around ovulation, especially) for a quick fling with a man genetically superior to her husband.
  • He will be sensitive to signs of her sexual infidelities (which would reduce his all-important paternity certainty) – while taking advantage of short-term sexual opportunities with other women (as his sperm are easily produced and plentiful).

Researchers claim to have confirmed these basic patterns in studies conducted around the world over several decades. Their results seem to support the standard narrative of human sexual evolution, which appears to make a lot of sense.

But they don’t, and it doesn’t.

While we don’t dispute that these patterns play out in many parts of the modern world, we don’t see them as elements of human nature so much as adaptations to social conditions – many of which were introduced with the advent of agriculture no more than ten thousand years ago.

These behaviors and predilections are not biologically programmed traits of our species; they are evidence of the human brain’s flexibility and the creative potential of community.

To take just one example, we argue that women’s seemingly consistent preference for men with access to wealth is not a result of innate evolutionary programming, as the standard model asserts, but simply a behavioral adaptation to a world in which men control a disproportionate share of the world’s resources.

As we’ll explore in detail, before the advent of agriculture a hundred centuries ago, women typically had as much access to food, protection, and social support as did men.

We’ll see that upheavals in human societies resulting from the shift to settled living in agricultural communities brought RADICAL changes to women’s ability to survive.

Suddenly, women lived in a world where they had to barter their reproductive capacity for access to the resources and protection they needed to survive.

But these conditions are very different from those in which our species had been evolving previously.

It’s important to keep in mind that when viewed against the full scale of our species’ existence, ten thousand years is but a brief moment.

Even if we ignore he roughly two million years since the emergence of our Homo lineage, in which our direct ancestors lived in small foraging social groups, anatomically modern humans are estimated to have existed as long as 200,000 years.

With the earliest evidence of agriculture dating to about 8000 BCE, the amount of time our species has spent living in settled agricultural societies represents just 5 percent of our collective experience, at most. As of recently as a few hundred years ago, most of the planet was still occupied by foragers.

So in order to trace the deepest roots of human sexuality, it’s vital to look beneath the thin crust of recent human history.

Until agriculture, human beings evolved in societies organized around an insistence on sharing just about everything. But all this sharing doesn’t make anyone a noble savage.

These pre-agricultural societies were no nobler than you are when you pay your taxes or insurance premiums.

Universal, culturally imposed sharing was simply the most effective way for our highly social species to minimize risk. Sharing and self-interest, as we shall see, are not mutually exclusive.

Indeed, what many anthropologists call fierce egalitarianism was the predominant pattern of social organization around the world for many millennia before the advent of agriculture.

But human societies changed in radical ways once they started farming and raising domesticated animals.

They organized themselves around hierarchical political structures, private property, densely populated settlements, a radical shift in the status of women and other social configurations that together represent an enigmatic disaster for our species: human population growth mushroomed as quality of life plummeted.

The shift to agriculture, wrote author Jared Diamond, is a “catastrophe from which we have never recovered.”

Several types of evidence suggest our pre-agricultural (prehistoric) ancestors lived in groups where most mature individuals would have had several ongoing sexual relationships at any given time.

Though often casual, these relationships were not random or meaningless. Quite the opposite: they reinforced crucial social ties holding these highly interdependent communities together.

We’ve found overwhelming evidence of decidedly casual, friendly prehistory of human sexuality echoed in our own bodies, in the habits of remaining societies still lingering in relative isolation, and in some surprising corners of contemporary Western culture.

We’ll show how our bedroom behavior, porn preferences, fantasies, dreams, and sexual responses all support this reconfigured understanding of our sexual origins.

Questions you’ll find answered in the following pages include:

Why is long-term sexual fidelity so difficult for so many couples?

Why does sexual passion often fade, even as love deepens?

Why are women potentially multi-orgasmic, while men all too often reach orgasm frustratingly quickly and then lose interest?

Is sexual jealously an unavoidable, uncontrollable part of human nature?

Why are human testicles so much larger than those of gorillas but small than those of chimps?

Can sexual frustration make us sick? How did a lack of orgasms cause one of the most common diseases in history, and how was it treated?

A Few Million Years in a Few Pages

In a nutshell, here’s the story we tell in the following pages: A few million years ago, our ancient ancestors (Homo erectus) shifted from a gorilla-like mating system where an alpha male fought to win and maintain a harem of females to one which most males had sexual access to females.

Few, if any experts dispute the fossil evidence for this shift.

But we part company from those who support the standard narrative when we look at what this shift signifies.

The standard narrative holds that this is when long-term pair bonding began in our species: if each male could have only one female mate at a time, most males would end up with a girl to call their own.

Indeed, where there is debate about the nature of innate human sexuality, the only two acceptable options appear to be that humans evolved to be either monogamous (M-F) or polygynous (M-FFF+) – with the conclusion normally being that women generally prefer the former configuration while most men would opt for the latter.

But what about multiple mating, where most males and females have more than one concurrent sexual relationship? Why – apart from moral disgust – is prehistoric promiscuity not even considered, when nearly every relevant source of evidence points in that direction?

After all, we know that the foraging societies in which human beings evolved were small-scale, highly egalitarian groups who shared almost everything. There is remarkable consistency to how immediate return foragers live – wherever they are.

The Kung San of Botswana have a great deal in common with Aboriginal people living in the outback Australia and tribes in remote pockets of the Amazon rainforest.

Anthropologists have demonstrated time and time again that immediate-return hunter-gather societies are nearly universal in their fierce egalitarianism.

Sharing is not just encouraged; it’s mandatory.

Hoarding or hiding food, for example, is considered deeply shameful, almost unforgivable behavior in these societies.

Foragers divide and distribute meat equitably, breastfeed one another’s babies, have little or no privacy from one another, and depend upon each other for survival.

As much as our social world revolves around notions of private property and individual responsibility, theirs spins in the opposite direction, toward group welfare, group identity, profound interrelation, and mutual dependence.

Though this may sound like naïve New Age idealism, whining over the lost Age of Aquarius, or a celebration of prehistoric communism, not one of these features of pre-agricultural societies is disputed by serious scholars.

The overwhelming consensus is that egalitarian social organization is the de-facto system for foraging societies in all environments.

In fact, no other system could work for foraging societies in all environments. Compulsory sharing is simply the best way to distribute risk to everyone’s benefit: participation mandatory.

Pragmatic? Yes. Noble? Hardly.

We believe this sharing behavior extended to sex as well. A great deal of research from primatology, anthropology, anatomy, and psychology points to the same fundamental conclusion: human beings and our hominid ancestors have spent almost all of the past few million years or so in small, intimate bands in which most adults had several sexual relationships at any given time.

This approach to sexuality probably persisted until the rise of agriculture and private property no more than ten thousand years ago.

In addition to voluminous scientific evidence, many explorers, missionaries, and anthropologists support this view, having penned accounts rich with tales of orgiastic rituals, unflinching mate sharing, and an open sexuality unencumbered by guilt or shame.

If you spend time with the primates closest to human beings, you’ll see female chimps having intercourse dozens of times per day, with most or all of the willing males, and rampant bonobo group sex that leaves everyone relaxed and maintains intricate social networks.

Explore contemporary human beings’ lust for particular kinds of pornography or our notorious difficulties with long-term sexual monogamy and you’ll soon stumble over relics of our hypersexual ancestors.

Our bodies echo the same story.

The human male has testicles far larger than any monogamous primate would ever need, hanging vulnerably outside the body where cooler temperatures help preserve stand-by sperm cells for multiple ejaculations.

He also sports the longest, thickest penis found on any primate on the planet, as well as an embarrassing tendency to reach orgasm too quickly.

Women’s pendulous breasts (utterly unnecessary for breastfeeding children), impossible-to-ignore cries of delight (female copulatory vocalization to the clipboard-carrying crowd), and capacity for orgasm after orgasm all support this vision of prehistoric promiscuity.

Each of these points is a major snag in the standard narrative.

Once people were farming the same land season after season, private property quickly replaced communal ownership as the modus operandi in most societies.

For nomadic foragers, personal property – anything needing to be carried – is kept to a minimum, for obvious reasons. There is little thought given to the who owns the land, or the fish  in the river, or the clouds in the sky.

Men (and often, women) confront danger together. An individual male’s parental investment, in other words – the core element of the standard narrative – tends to be diffuse in societies like those in which we evolved, not directed toward one particular woman and her children, as the conventional model insists.

But when people began living in settled agricultural communities, social reality shifted deeply and irrevocably.

Suddenly it became crucially important to know where your field ended and your neighbor’s began. Remember the Tenth Commandment: “Thou shalt not covet they neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.”

Clearly, the biggest loser (aside from slaves, perhaps) in the agricultural revolution was the human female, who went from occupying a central, respected role in foraging societies to becoming another possession for man to earn and defend, along with his house, slaves, and livestock.

“The origins of farming,” says archaeologist Steven Mithen, “is the defining event of human history – the one turning point that has resulted in modern humans having quite different type of lifestyle and cognition to all other animals and past types of humans.”

The most important pivot point in the story of our species, the shift to agriculture redirected the trajectory of human life more fundamentally than the control of fire, the Magna Carta, the printing press, the steam engine, nuclear fission, or anything else has or, perhaps, ever will.

With agriculture, virtually everything changed: the nature of status and power, social and family structures, how humans interacted with the natural world, the gods they worshipped, the likelihood and nature of warfare between groups, quality of life, longevity, and certainly the rules governing sexuality.

His survey of the relevant archaeological evidence led archaeologist Timothy Taylor, author of The Prehistory of Sex, to state, “While hunter-gatherer sex had been modeled on an idea of sharing and complementarity, early agricultural sex was voyeuristic, repressive, homophobic, and focused on reproduction.” “Afraid of the wild,” he concludes, “farmers set out to destroy it.”

Land could now be possessed, owned, and passed down the generations. Food that been hunted and gathered now had to be sowed, tended, harvested, stored, defended, bought, and sold.

Fences, walls, and irrigation systems had to be built and reinforced; armies to defend it all had to be raised, fed, and controlled.

Because of private property, for the first time in the history of our species, paternity became a crucial concern.

But the standard narrative insists that paternity certainty has always been of utmost importance to our species, that our very genes dictate we organize our sexual lives around it.

Why, then is the anthropological record so rich with examples of societies where biological paternity is of little or no importance?

Where paternity is unimportant, men tend to be relatively unconcerned about women’s sexual fidelity.

But before we get into these real-life examples, let’s take a quick trip to the Yucatan.

END OF INTRODUCTION

You Question “Business As Usual”? Why Not Question “Sex As Usual”?

A thinking person questions everything . . . especially everything blindly adhered to by the majority.

What you’ve read is just an intro to your questioning the beliefs of the most cherished beliefs of the herd.

If business as unusual is good for the pocket book, why would it not be good for your mind, your heart, and your genitals?

You’ve only just experienced a taste of what this book has to offer you. If you’re with me now, I trust you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read. Go buy the book see what kind of freedom of thought, soul, and body await you.

As always, feel free to talk to me in the comments section below, or like most people prefer, in private by hitting orange “Feedback” tab there on the right hand side of the screen, or email me directly.

Talk soon,

Lewis LaLanne a.k.a. Note Taking Nerd #2 a.k.a. L.L. Cool Nerd

PS. And if this whole idea of getting your beliefs adjusted to how YOU want them to be rather than how the 6 P’s want them to be, you’ll definitely want to check out these personal improvement notes here <—–

Older Entries Newer Entries